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The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 8:49 pm
by Rumbletonk
I ask because I've just wasted some of my life watching The Power Of Dog.

1. Magnolia - I can't describe how bad and pointless

2. The Power of The Dog - Nonsense and up its own arse

3. Bronsen - Crap. Proper crap

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:09 pm
by expoultryboy
Cloverfield , i am legend , and godfather 3 ( only because i was so looking forward to it ) .

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:12 pm
by Vegas Claret
Burnley FC highlights season 21-22

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:16 pm
by expoultryboy
There are 3 ????

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:18 pm
by RalphCoatesComb
1] Blair Witch Project

2] Anything by the Coen Brothers

3] Anything else by the Coen Brothers

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:20 pm
by jrgbfc
I've never actually seen it but confident that Mrs Brown's boys the movie can be nominated.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:27 pm
by Spiral
Woah, this is going to be a controversial thread. Magnolia is one of the best films of its decade. So is No Country For Old Men, a Coen Brothers film. You're all being silly.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:32 pm
by aclaretinstevenage
They shoot horses don't

Dunkirk

1917.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:34 pm
by Rileybobs
RalphCoatesComb wrote:
Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:18 pm
2] Anything by the Coen Brothers

3] Anything else by the Coen Brothers
You cannot be serious (in John McEnroe accent).

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:35 pm
by Middle-agedClaret
I know it’s all about opinions, so my 3 are:
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Night Porter
Avatar.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:36 pm
by BabylonClaret
Batman and Robin
The Wicker Man (remake with Nichas Cage)
Matrix revolutions

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:37 pm
by Middle-agedClaret
BTW, aclaretinstevenage, I thought “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They” was an excellent film. (and an ok single)
Opinions, eh!

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:42 pm
by Bosscat
The Colour Purple (2.5 hrs of my life I won't get back)
Another vote for "The Wicker Man" remake
The Eternals

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:47 pm
by conyoviejo
jrgbfc wrote:
Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:20 pm
I've never actually seen it but confident that Mrs Brown's boys the movie can be nominated.
Brilliant film.you need to see it.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 10:12 pm
by Spiral
Space Jam: A New Legacy was the most gratuitous, masturbatory exercise is corporate film-making I've ever seen in my life. It's basically a shameless two-hour parade of Warner Bros' owned intellectual property.

Let me paint you a picture: it's the production meeting for the new Space Jam movie. Imagine some coked-up film producer, third-generation wealth, a man with a sex addiction who disappointed his father greatly by dropping out of law school. He's pitching his vision of Space Jam 2 to the film's forty-six other producers...imagine him holding out both hands in front of him as though to say hearken unto me every one of you and listen, for you all need to hear this; cue a dramatic pause...he bites his bottom lip while slowly nodding his head up and down, his eyes moving from one board member to the next, then the next, then the next — he's savouring the anticipation of the board, those other millionaire artless w@nkers who do forty-five minutes of work a day — he basks for the briefest moment in his own genius and his power and his genuis and his power and his genius and his power and his head is spinning because of the drugs and he feels as though his inner monologue is repeating itself again and gain and again, and he ejaculates in a single-word sentence utterly devoid of context with a forward motion of his palms and his fingers opening wide...

"...SYNERGY...".

This "film" is what these psychopaths birthed. I'd feel bad naming two more films along side it.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 10:55 pm
by CombatClaret
I'd go franchises

Transformers
Fast & The Furious
most Marvel films

Literally designed to have so little plot/dialogue that international audiences can follow without subtitles or dubbing.

Either they're fighting over a pointless maguffin or having OTT grudges with each other that wouldn't be out of place in Eastenders except a CGI rendering computer with ADHD pukes everywhere for two hours.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 10:58 pm
by Bosscat
Bosscat wrote:
Sat Apr 02, 2022 9:42 pm
The Colour Purple (2.5 hrs of my life I won't get back)
Another vote for "The Wicker Man" remake
The Eternals
Have had a rethink and replace

"The Eternals" with "La La Land" a totally wasteful couple of hours

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 11:11 pm
by dandeclaret
Not a big film fan, but one that sprung straight to mind was Mars Attacks. Human Traffic was another.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 11:13 pm
by fidelcastro
The English Patient.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 11:54 pm
by Chester Perry
films that immediately cone to mind are

- Burn after reading - yes the coen brothers
- Suddenly - often called a classic but I have never been able to get past the first few minutes
- I have always struggled with The Man with the Golden Arm - though the titles and the poster are fabulous

no doubt there has been plenty of crap down the years and possibly more created now than ever before simply because of the volume of material now churned out - As a I big fan of Sherlock Holmes movies and tv series - there has been some truly abysmal turns in his name - I have never been able to watch more than two minutes of Ben Syder as Holmes, truly the most unconvincing I have ever seen

https://putloocker.net/watch/zGOWXZGK-s ... -2010.html

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 12:12 am
by gandhisflipflop
Anything by Tarantino

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 12:41 am
by Swizzlestick
Not the worst but I’d put The Wolf of Wall Street up there as most overrated. Never has a film needed a good editor more. Ended up being bored.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 3:33 am
by mkmel
That's my boy
Any other Adam Sandler film
The Nun

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:09 am
by GodIsADeeJay81
Scott Pilgrim Vs The World - hands down the worst film I've ever tried to watch, I couldn't even finish it and I get battered by its fans on twitter over that opinion but that's fine, it's shite.

Superman Returns (2006) - just guff.

Battlefield Earth - utter utter toss.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:25 am
by timshorts
This is a tough thread as with so much access nowadays it is easier to avoid dross and never have to suffer space jam, marvel drivel, the fast and tedious etc.
I'm sure lots of those I'd seriously detest, along with most biographical films with one word titles and you are supposed to know who they are and give a ****. I mean, I'm sure the thing called "Hamilton" was out for at least a year before I worked out that it wasn't about Lewis Hamilton.

So I can only name three that I've been forced to endure over the years.:
1. Black hawk down.
Script by a 14 year old with tourettes. I don't think that I ever wanted the characters that I am supposed to like/support to die quite so quickly.
2. Love story
Vomit inducing. Generally, I like girly films much more than the neanderthal stuff that the girlfriend watches, and **** her off by knowing half the script off mean girls et al but there are limits and this is fathoms beyond that. Wanted them to die quickly too. Not necessarily painfully, just fast.
3. Goldmember and jeepers creepers tie for third as although I was at other people's houses enduring this ********, I fell asleep in both of them so probably only saw about a single films length put together and because I can't remember the name of any Charlie Chaplin film that I've ever got to the end of without going off to mow the lawn etc.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:27 am
by RVclaret
The Grey with Liam Neeson has possibly the worst ending to a film I’ve ever seen.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:32 am
by gandhisflipflop
mkmel wrote:
Sun Apr 03, 2022 3:33 am
That's my boy
Any other Adam Sandler film
The Nun
Adam sander has literally made a career out of reproducing the same type of film over and over again. It follows the exact same format.

Scenario given
Meets a girl
Everything goes great
He ballses up half way through the film
He makes amends and finishes on a happy ending.

It’s amazing how many films follow this type of format. It’s got to the point where it’s a complete waste of time because you can take a good guess at what’s going to happen. I like films that don’t follow that format. Like the green mile for example.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:33 am
by TheFamilyCat
Spiral wrote:
Sat Apr 02, 2022 10:12 pm
Space Jam: A New Legacy was the most gratuitous, masturbatory exercise is corporate film-making I've ever seen in my life. It's basically a shameless two-hour parade of Warner Bros' owned intellectual property.

Let me paint you a picture: it's the production meeting for the new Space Jam movie. Imagine some coked-up film producer, third-generation wealth, a man with a sex addiction who disappointed his father greatly by dropping out of law school. He's pitching his vision of Space Jam 2 to the film's forty-six other producers...imagine him holding out both hands in front of him as though to say hearken unto me every one of you and listen, for you all need to hear this; cue a dramatic pause...he bites his bottom lip while slowly nodding his head up and down, his eyes moving from one board member to the next, then the next, then the next — he's savouring the anticipation of the board, those other millionaire artless w@nkers who do forty-five minutes of work a day — he basks for the briefest moment in his own genius and his power and his genuis and his power and his genius and his power and his head is spinning because of the drugs and he feels as though his inner monologue is repeating itself again and gain and again, and he ejaculates in a single-word sentence utterly devoid of context with a forward motion of his palms and his fingers opening wide...

"...SYNERGY...".

This "film" is what these psychopaths birthed. I'd feel bad naming two more films along side it.
My son loves it. But he is only 5.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:39 am
by timshorts
GodIsADeeJay81 wrote:
Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:09 am
Scott Pilgrim Vs The World - hands down the worst film I've ever tried to watch, I couldn't even finish it and I get battered by its fans on twitter over that opinion but that's fine, it's shite.

Superman Returns (2006) - just guff.

Battlefield Earth - utter utter toss.
An interesting take on Scott pilgrim.
The books I really enjoyed. The film was disliked in our house because it just had so little bearing on the books that it was beyond recognisable. The names of the people were the same, but everything else was 100% hollywoodfuckedabout.

It was sort of like taking winnie the pooh and casting Eddie Murphy as eyeore, sylvester stallone as the bear and one of those all American brats off the goonies as Christopher Robin and making him wear a baseball cap, ripping through the 100 acre wood on a bmx bike scoring points for trix.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:42 am
by timshorts
gandhisflipflop wrote:
Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:32 am
Adam sander has literally made a career out of reproducing the same type of film over and over again. It follows the exact same format.

Scenario given
Meets a girl
Everything goes great
He ballses up half way through the film
He makes amends and finishes on a happy ending.

It’s amazing how many films follow this type of format. It’s got to the point where it’s a complete waste of time because you can take a good guess at what’s going to happen. I like films that don’t follow that format. Like the green mile for example.
Sounds like a plot for "Prince Andrew"

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 8:46 am
by LoveCurryPies
The Mission. I was willing this film to end half way through.

Out of Africa. Stunning photography and great music but so so slow.

Dune. The original film.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 9:14 am
by Hipper
Sgt. Bilko - Steve Martin film remake of the old unbeatable TV series.

Dads Army TV series remake. As bad as the American version.

If a TV series is not allowed, the the remake of The Lady Killers. Again, the original is just way too good to copy.

Fighting Seabees

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036824/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

Seabees - CB - Construction Battalion.

I heard a story on the radio about this film from an extra. He said the director wanted it to be as realistic as possible so wanted the actors portraying the Japanese to actually speak the language. Unfortunately no-one knew any Japanese. Then some bright spark thought, if you say 'I tie my shoe' or 'you tie your shoe' in a Japanese kind of way that would sound good - try it. So that's what they did.

To confirm this story I decided to watch this film the next time it came on TV. However it was so awful that I only lasted half an hour so I can't say if the story's true. It's a good one though - the story that is!

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 11:44 am
by willsclarets
There's some great films on here!

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 12:03 pm
by claret2018
Aquaman is one that springs to mind. That’s the worst I’ve seen in recent years

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 12:11 pm
by Devils_Advocate
Prequels and sequels tend to be the worst films. I could list plenty of them but the very worst film has to be "Rita, Sue & Bob 2". I haven't even seen the original but how they managed to get a second film out of it is beyond me.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 12:22 pm
by Roosterbooster
All opinions so I won't criticise at all for disagreeing with me. But I love Tarantino, and La La Land

I'll go for Batman & Robin, The Shack, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 12:49 pm
by box_of_frogs
Revolutionary Road was the worst I’ve seen.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 1:43 pm
by Stalbansclaret
The Royal Tannenbaums (and anything else directed by Wes Anderson , or anything else starring Owen Wilson, for that matter)
The Wicker Man ,Nicholas Cage, remake....reminded of this by one of the earlier posts on this thread..I thought I'd successfully blanked it from my memory
The Last Bus....a film starring Timothy Spall as a pensioner travelling the length of Britain by bus. Saw it recently at the cinema (it was a cheap matinee and I was bored that day), Shockingly bad on a number of levels.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 1:45 pm
by Steve1956
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Carry on Camping
Escape to Victory

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 2:05 pm
by Boss Hogg
Night at the Museum
Deep Blue Sea
Anything with Adam Sandler in it.

Can’t agree with nominations above of
Power of the Dog
1917
Dunkirk

Thought all were very good though original Dunkirk film possibly better.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 4:18 pm
by Hipper
Steve1956 wrote:
Sun Apr 03, 2022 1:45 pm
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Carry on Camping
Escape to Victory
Some films are so bad that they become comedy. Escape to Victory is one.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2022 5:20 pm
by Conroy92
Tarantino is a master but Deathproof is one of the worst films I've ever seen!
The other two choices for me personally were both Hobbit films. Unlike lord of the rings it strayed too far from the books. Such a disappointment compared with the Lord of the rings trilogy.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 8:52 am
by Shaggy
Devils_Advocate wrote:
Sun Apr 03, 2022 12:11 pm
Prequels and sequels tend to be the worst films. I could list plenty of them but the very worst film has to be "Rita, Sue & Bob 2". I haven't even seen the original but how they managed to get a second film out of it is beyond me.
The first Rita sue and Bon too was brilliant.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 9:33 am
by NottsClaret
Jaws 4 is the worst film ever made. Hardly even worth coming up with two more, they'd still be infinitely better than that. Maybe a couple of those Star Wars ones they made after the first three.

Seeing Royal Tenenbaums and the Coen Brothers on here.. I don't know, maybe films just aren't some people's thing.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 10:02 am
by BennyD
The Hurt Locker. Endex.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 10:41 am
by Rileybobs
Fury is pretty dreadful.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 11:05 am
by jos
It’s a wonderful life
Saw <- who watches this sick drivel? I didn’t watch for long.
2001 A space odyssey <- Showed promise but was disappointing.

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 11:30 am
by Im_not_Robbie_Blake
Plenty
Out of Africa
Jaws - The Revenge

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 12:13 pm
by Devils_Advocate
Shaggy wrote:
Mon Apr 04, 2022 8:52 am
The first Rita sue and Bon too was brilliant.
I dont think i've seen the film Rita, Sue and Bob. I've seen Rita, Sue and Bob 2 but didn't think it was that good. Do you prefer the original or Rita, Sue and Bob 2?

Re: The 3 worst films you've ever seen

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 5:26 pm
by CaptainKirk
jos wrote:
Mon Apr 04, 2022 11:05 am
It’s a wonderful life
Saw <- who watches this sick drivel? I didn’t watch for long.
2001 A space odyssey <- Showed promise but was disappointing.
"It's a wonderful life"?????
Are you for real?
Hang your head in shame you Philistine!