A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Mate of mine was sent this by a bar steward he knows, an alternative Sky sports write up about our success
Brilliant
Great write up from Sky:
Burnley celebrated the finest night in their club's uninspiring history as they finally limped across the line to the 2nd division title, despite being 2nd best for much of the game to neighbours Blackburn Rovers, who's side largely consisting of future stars from their famous academy left Burnley's expensively assembled side resorting to time wasting and theatrics, whilst fewer than 2,000 of their fans who bothered to make the short trip to Ewood Park were left stunned into a toothless silence for large swathes of the game.
Nonetheless, the 2nd division title, (which is not considered a major trophy by serious clubs and does nothing to decrease the gulf in the major trophy count between Burnley and their more illustrious neighbours), will provide some relief to the residents of the 'close-knit' and family-focussed town with a deceptively large catchment area, and a Blackburn postcode, where anyone under 70 will struggle to remember genuine success, against the backdrop of one of the lowest life expectancy and literacy figures in the UK.
Once the homebrew hangovers dissipate, the banjos fall silent, the siblings are sent back to their own bedrooms and the realisation dawns that the electronic tag curfews have been breached, another short and disappointing term in the top flight awaits the fans of the big spending champions, formed in the shadow of the most successful town team in England, and who famously once smashed up their own town centre after a previous defeat by Rovers, meanwhile excitement builds at Ewood Park for a Rovers side bursting with young talent and geared for long term and sustainable success.
Brilliant
Great write up from Sky:
Burnley celebrated the finest night in their club's uninspiring history as they finally limped across the line to the 2nd division title, despite being 2nd best for much of the game to neighbours Blackburn Rovers, who's side largely consisting of future stars from their famous academy left Burnley's expensively assembled side resorting to time wasting and theatrics, whilst fewer than 2,000 of their fans who bothered to make the short trip to Ewood Park were left stunned into a toothless silence for large swathes of the game.
Nonetheless, the 2nd division title, (which is not considered a major trophy by serious clubs and does nothing to decrease the gulf in the major trophy count between Burnley and their more illustrious neighbours), will provide some relief to the residents of the 'close-knit' and family-focussed town with a deceptively large catchment area, and a Blackburn postcode, where anyone under 70 will struggle to remember genuine success, against the backdrop of one of the lowest life expectancy and literacy figures in the UK.
Once the homebrew hangovers dissipate, the banjos fall silent, the siblings are sent back to their own bedrooms and the realisation dawns that the electronic tag curfews have been breached, another short and disappointing term in the top flight awaits the fans of the big spending champions, formed in the shadow of the most successful town team in England, and who famously once smashed up their own town centre after a previous defeat by Rovers, meanwhile excitement builds at Ewood Park for a Rovers side bursting with young talent and geared for long term and sustainable success.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Seems fair
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
What's not to like?
Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Cluck cluck effing cluck.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Guys a real talent….
Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
That's one butthurt barsteward.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Great advert for Prozac and shows it really works well in some cases.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Enjoyed that. You can almost taste the tears.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Ah those illustrious neighbours that haven’t scored against us for 9 years and have a losing head to head record.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Wrote like a man that ‘honestly’ isn’t sore
I love seeing it, I can almost feel his pain
I love seeing it, I can almost feel his pain
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
He missed the clear penalty and (possible) sending off of Corky… neither of which I could honestly have argued with… but not being given makes it all the more sweet.
They are clearly suffering sleepless nights… it is too enjoyable for words watching the neighbours avoid me.
They are clearly suffering sleepless nights… it is too enjoyable for words watching the neighbours avoid me.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
I actually think it's quite funny
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Are they mad. It just gets better, if that's possible.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
I'll buy him a pint of beer, and when I give it to him, I'll whisper in his ear the seven words he hates to hear
"We won the league at Ewood Park"
"We won the league at Ewood Park"
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
He mocks our literacy levels while showing the same aptitude for sentence structure as JakubClaret.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Good effort. Clearly in immense pain
Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Comedy genius
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
*checks accounts*SourGrapesFCHorseFiddler wrote:
'....meanwhile excitement builds at Ewood Park for a Rovers side bursting with young talent and geared for long term and sustainable success'
...Hmmm it appears that the Horse Fiddlers are 300 mill in debt...
If they think that is 'sustainable', then I'd suggest it's their lot that is literacy AND numerically challenged!
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Gulf in the major trophy count???? I suppose if you count the five FA cups before 1892 then you might say there is a noticeable gap. But ignore those and take away the trophy they bought in 1994/95 and there is no gap at all, other than us winning the second tier four times as often.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Thanks for the 6 points morons.
Up the Clarets.
Up the Clarets.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
You knew had sad as desperate that lot where when they posted pictures of prem trophy from nearly 30 years ago what uncle Jack bought and started the rack and ruin of the money game
Just proves they can't take their actual downfall really and our rise back and good few years of promotions and two titles
I was always told we'd always be in there shadow
Just proves they can't take their actual downfall really and our rise back and good few years of promotions and two titles
I was always told we'd always be in there shadow
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
It’s actually quite decent I thought . Probs insert any local rival as the club .
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
To be fair, they have been very generous over the years. Who else would have gifted their local rivals so many points without taking any in return?
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Are we sure this isn’t an article from the Lancashire (horse enjoyers) telegraph?
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Thought it was quite a comical tongue in cheek piece, and then I read…
’ meanwhile excitement builds at Ewood Park for a Rovers side bursting with young talent and geared for long term and sustainable success.
…which is honestly one of the finest pieces of comedy I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.
’ meanwhile excitement builds at Ewood Park for a Rovers side bursting with young talent and geared for long term and sustainable success.
…which is honestly one of the finest pieces of comedy I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
He was inspired to write that after soneone told him after the game, "it was onky a game. Cheer up, just get back on the horse....."
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
The number of brain cells equates to the number of pounds they will get for Brereton Diaz in the summer. Zip
Good luck replacing him .
Good luck replacing him .
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
That was really funny i must say .
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
I have no interest in what any ******* has to say
Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Premiership Trophy !AlargeClaret wrote: ↑Thu Apr 27, 2023 7:27 pmIt’s actually quite decent I thought . Probs insert any local rival as the club .
They’ve never won the Premier League!
We’ve won the top League when it was called something else just like them
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
It's hilarious and add my name to those grateful this particular b&stard decided to share his erudite thoughts.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
It has been a tough ten years or so for Blackburn fans. Imagine watching Burnley not just beat them under Dyche but consistently finish above them without being bankrolled like they were. No wonder they are smarting, even before Tuesday night
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
All that effort!
Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
If you look in the dictionary under the word ‘bitter’ I suspect you’ll find that passage as a good example
The pain is palpable.
The pain is palpable.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Blackburn fans clearly spend their half times discussing the works of Socrates and Plato given their sense of intellectual superiority
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
It was quite funny actually.
I'm sure once the writer gets over the disappointment of Tuesday night he'll put that mare behind him, get the bit between his teeth for next season and look forward to a more stable future for his club.
In fact, if he was a betting man, he'd probably bang a pony on Blackburn's chances of promotion this season
I'm sure once the writer gets over the disappointment of Tuesday night he'll put that mare behind him, get the bit between his teeth for next season and look forward to a more stable future for his club.
In fact, if he was a betting man, he'd probably bang a pony on Blackburn's chances of promotion this season
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
"whilst fewer than 2,000 of their fans who bothered to make the short trip to Ewood Park"
sure its all a joke....
...but who enjoyed it extatically better than the deplorable bunch of Barsteward fans who bothered to support their side in their best season for some time!
sure its all a joke....
...but who enjoyed it extatically better than the deplorable bunch of Barsteward fans who bothered to support their side in their best season for some time!
Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
There is a lot of complaint about how Burnley (who have made enough profit to pay over £100m to the owners) have an unfair financial advantage over the "sustainable" club whose owners have to give them £20m every year just to pay the bills.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
They really are quite special aren't they ...
They cannot handle how things have changed since uncle Jack threw all that money at them (but if you listen to any of them, they didn't buy the title) and the Venkys continue to fund them (approx 20M a month). And still they are around 200M in debt. With a dwindling Dan base.
But somehow we've bought the league which in reality we all know is complete ********.
Oh, one thing that is certain, Ashley Barnes lives rent free in all their empty heads forever.
UTC
They cannot handle how things have changed since uncle Jack threw all that money at them (but if you listen to any of them, they didn't buy the title) and the Venkys continue to fund them (approx 20M a month). And still they are around 200M in debt. With a dwindling Dan base.
But somehow we've bought the league which in reality we all know is complete ********.
Oh, one thing that is certain, Ashley Barnes lives rent free in all their empty heads forever.
UTC
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
I’m assuming that they are counting the 3rd tier promotion of 2017-18 in their success
They must be as they wheeled out a few members of their runner-up squad prior to the game on Tuesday
I mean, where were we in the 2017-18 season?
They must be as they wheeled out a few members of their runner-up squad prior to the game on Tuesday
I mean, where were we in the 2017-18 season?
Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
We have to remember they did with the league - well bought it- and we were weak at the time. Now they are still dependent on owners money for survival. We are not. We are now a bigger and better club, through judicious appointments of managers and players. Many of them are green with envy and it shows. If their owners sell up or withdraw their financial support then they could be well and truly scuppered.
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
I like the look of that Wharton lad of theirs. Fits our player profile well.
Cheeky bid in summer?
Cheeky bid in summer?
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
He'd have to be exorcised first.Lord Beamish wrote: ↑Fri Apr 28, 2023 10:32 amI like the look of that Wharton lad of theirs. Fits our player profile well.
Cheeky bid in summer?
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
An indication of just how far that club has fallen from grace must be the pre-match parade of their players who finished RUNNERS UP in division 1,
(division 3 in old money,) during season 2000-2001.
The rovers fans must have felt truly inspired after that!
(division 3 in old money,) during season 2000-2001.
The rovers fans must have felt truly inspired after that!
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Mentioned quite a lot on their board that, and one of those being paraded is apparently a Burnley supporterBigRedrose wrote: ↑Fri Apr 28, 2023 11:02 amAn indication of just how far that club has fallen from grace must be the pre-match parade of their players who finished RUNNERS UP in division 1,
(division 3 in old money,) during season 2000-2001.
The rovers fans must have felt truly inspired after that!
Mind you, imagine the p**s taking opportunities we'd have had if they'd gone for the premier league winners team instead
Would have really rammed it home to them how far they have fallen
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
I thought 'Mrs Brown's Boys' was the least funny thing I'd ever seen until I caught some of Andrew Lawrence's stuff on Twitter.
And now, having read that OP, we have a new 'leader'...
And now, having read that OP, we have a new 'leader'...
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Re: A Bar Stewards look at Burnley
Laughed so much the tears ran down my legs. Tried to laugh in short bursts to avoid a cardiac arrest.