There's a well known scene in the IT Crowd where a character explains you only need to learn a few phrases to be able to pass off as a football fan.

Things like, "The problem with Arsenal is they always try and walk it in the net" etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yN2H3--1aw

What would you suggest to somebody who wanted to bluff a decent knowledge of Burnley FC and pass off as a true supporter?

Eeee, it ant been same on Turf since they stopped doing mushy peas.

Vincent Kompany is going to be the next manager of Man City

Define "true supporter"?

I’m amazed he survived the nineteen match run

Legs, Hearts, Minds

We’ve not had a natural goalscorer since Chaz and Payts

Mee, Tarky and Popey would have played more for England by now if they were at any other club.

criminalclaret wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 13, 2023 10:36 am

Define "true supporter"?

Know at least 5 phrases that when spoken will make other Burnley fans will nod in agreement. ;P

claptrappers_union wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 13, 2023 10:36 am

Vincent Kompany is going to be the next manager of Man City

This one works for Citeh fans too. *clap* *clap* *clap*

We’ve never replaced John Deary

When in the company of someone proposing to their girlfriend or fastenening their shoelaces, they boo them

When pretending to leave for the match

“OK… phone, wallet, keys… oh, season ticket and cocaine… yet right, lets go”

I was at the Colchester game.

Burnley have revolutionised the way they play under Kompany. No more long ball and grinding out results like under Dyche

The 91-92 Div 4 title win was the best season ever …. Jimmy Mullen’s claret and blue army !

Owen Coyle ….. Judas !!

I wish we could get Nathan Tella back

If Robbie Blake and Glen Little had had more pace they’d have been world class. What was Ternent thinking at Watford ?

Thing about Bolton is they're 10 years ahead of us.

We’re another top team in the Manchester area.

No one likes us.
Or our Lancashire 'ome

'Man City are the greatest ever team, ever'

Just tell them you are a Burnley fan.

No-one will believe that someone would say this to impress.

That John Bond nearly ruined us.

That Brian Laws nearly ruined us.

If you think that City squad is expensive, try buying a twix on t'Turf

"I was there at the Orient game..." "But you're only in your 20s" "Shi.... wait"

Show them your number of loyalty points tattoo

I thought we lacked identity.

Rowls is my best mate.

Glen Little…… he used to scare defenders to death

We’ve never replaced John Deary

Eee ain't then pints and brews a rip off

Gudmondson

Teasdale out.

I 'wer there that night at Derby

Bob Lord Knows My Father

Eric Djemba Djemba stroked my dog down Gawthorpe woods

No, burnley.

Barnsley is a different place and in Yorkshire.
That's probably all you need on the south coast.

we are crap, nobody is good enough

Every ref is against us.

John Gayle a very underrated footballer.

I was at the orient game

Oooo George Oghani

We are the longside, Burnleeeeee - and repeat - and repeat - and repeat - and repeat

UTC

Bertie Bee knew Bill Shankly don't you know?

Its Wood !!!!!

‘These days of course, half of them are singing ‘oom pah pah’.’

Paul Waine wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 13, 2023 5:21 pm

We are the longside, Burnleeeeee - and repeat - and repeat - and repeat - and repeat

UTC

For authenticity, each chant should be sung at a faster pace than the last one until you reach such a pace the words are virtually unintelligible.

Slag off one of the best watering holes in Burnley for Burnley fans...

Out wasn’t Teasdale’s last name

Cayne Hanley was destined for the top

Michael Essian nearly signed for us

Pochettino was interviewed for the Burnley job before he went Spurs a couple of years later

I was there for the Payts "Natural Born Claret" t shirt at Wrexham

Glen Little wasn't fit to lace Waddle's boots

That lad Foster is Pony.

Have we signed Derek Riordan yet?

Sod the light shows, fancy pants dog troupe was pure razmataz.

Tiptoe through the North Stand with your Gazelles on, and get your Bene and hot.

I tend to think that anyone who seriously thinks that anyone would want to bluff being a Burnley fan must be a Burnley fan because nobody else cares...

So, if you want to bluff being a Burnley fan write a post like this on a Burnley forum.

And the true test of whether someone is a Burnley fan and posts on the UTC forum then it is the ability to construct a sentence that by it's own internal logic is contradictory.

And if you want to prove that not only is someone a Burnley fan, and a UTC poster but is also from Padiham then just get them to explain why the post is contradictory.

If after several goes the person chins you then you have a found a genuine Padiham Claret who is simultaneously trying to bluff being a Burnley fan.....!