Page 1 of 1
Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:02 am
by AGENT_CLARET
DL Claret just posted this in another thread "Much preferred Burnden even if it was rougher than Tarzan's feet"
Never heard this before and it made me laugh out loud, and it got me thinking what funny saying's have you heard and use.
The two I like are colder than a tramps toe's and wetter than an otters pocket.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:06 am
by kentonclaret
Continuing with the weather theme on a freezing winter day, as cold as charity.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:06 am
by Firthy
The more I see of some folk the more I love my dog.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:09 am
by Steve1956
Firthy wrote: ↑Sat May 18, 2024 11:06 am
The more I see of some folk the more I love my dog.
A funny saying and in these times so so true.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:09 am
by bumba
'we won't be as bad again all season'
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:47 am
by jdrobbo
I always put my sandwiches up the night before I go into work.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:50 am
by Aclaret
jdrobbo wrote: ↑Sat May 18, 2024 11:47 am
I always put my sandwiches up the night before I go into work.
Me too, just as Mrs Aclret settles down to watch Emmerdale
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:51 am
by Neil
jdrobbo wrote: ↑Sat May 18, 2024 11:47 am
I always put my sandwiches up the night before I go into work.
So do i
Not a funny saying but I said at work the other day can someone put the wireless on which the young uns found hilarious.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 12:59 pm
by Tricky Trevor
Astee got time on ya cock?
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 2:22 pm
by roperclaret
Following on from the OP, it was always ‘as rough as a badgers arse.
Two other favourites:
Face like a bag of spanners
Mad as a box of frogs
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 3:20 pm
by AfloatinClaret
AGENT_CLARET wrote: ↑Sat May 18, 2024 11:02 am
"...it was rougher than Tarzan's feet"
The two I like are colder than a tramps toe's and wetter than an otters pocket.
But are tarzan's feet even 'as rough as boots'? I can't believe that they're 'as rough as a badger's arse'; nor will a tramp's toes be anywhere near 'as cold as a witches tit'. I'm not going to mention my alternative to the otter's pocket... that'd likely get my post pulled.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 3:43 pm
by IPAclaret
Thicker than a boxing day turd
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 3:52 pm
by RMutt
There’s a phrase for when someone is in a bad mood. ‘They’ve seen their arse in a mirror’
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 5:01 pm
by IanMcL
You don't look at the mantle piece when you are stoking the fire.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 7:51 pm
by Firthy
This will probably get deleted. But the good old comment when having sex.
Half an inch out and in the sh*t again
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 8:12 pm
by Funkydrummer
Face like a melted welly.
Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Dry as Ghandi's flip flop.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 8:24 pm
by ColneMonkey
One that made me laugh, for someone who’s not very good a something or a bit daft…
They’d struggle to find their @rse with both hands.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 8:29 pm
by roperclaret
Couldn’t hit a cows arse with a banjo
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 8:35 pm
by roperclaret
One that stuck with me from a guy a worked with in Manchester- ‘it was like throwing a sausage up Deansgate’
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 8:39 pm
by Volvoclaret
Flat as a witch's tit
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 9:12 pm
by Juan Tanamera
One of my late Mum's classic: "Every time I open my mouth I put foot in it."
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:01 pm
by IanMcL
I'll have a pint of mother in law please.
Old and Bitter.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:05 pm
by burnmark
My grandad used to always say ‘same dog — more hair on!’ meaning ‘it’s more or less the same thing!’
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 11:53 pm
by Vintage Claret
As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 9:00 am
by Midmoorclaret
As much use as Tits on a Goldfish!
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 9:03 am
by AfloatinClaret
roperclaret wrote: ↑Sat May 18, 2024 8:29 pm
Couldn’t hit a cows arse with a banjo
Many years ago I used that one whilst watching an England match. It must have struck a chord with my Mrs as she ever after referred to the player as 'Banjo'... What's Banjo Lampard up to nowadays?
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 9:12 am
by Claret Till I Die
Well I'll go t' foot of our stairs
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 9:14 am
by Bosscat
"If you fall off that wall and break your leg ... Don't come running to me"
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 9:40 am
by Tricky Trevor
One I’ve only ever heard in Burnley.
“See you later, masturbator”
Response being:
“In a while, paedophile”
You’ll be singing that version all day now.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 9:49 am
by Bin Ont Turf
Tha'd eat two taties more n' a pig.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 10:31 am
by Browntuba
Phrases that have always stuck with me from working with older gents years ago :
“He’s got eyes like a shithouse rat “
“Stuck like sh*t to a blanket”
Both faeces related ones
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 10:42 am
by ecc
Tricky Trevor wrote: ↑Sun May 19, 2024 9:40 am
One I’ve only ever heard in Burnley.
“See you later, masturbator”
Response being:
“In a while, paedophile”
You’ll be singing that version all day now.
Touch of class there, TT.
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 1:19 pm
by HahaYeah
Always liked George Galloways when talking of say - Labour and Tories, 'Two cheeks on the same arse.'
Dad used to say one you don't hear much nowadays, someone was 'Thick as a workhouse butty'.
On someone who had been put in their place, 'Face like a slapped arse.'
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 1:22 pm
by LincsWoldsClaret
Could organise a sore arse in a gay brothel
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 2:13 pm
by bobinho
Slower than a week in jail….
Lazier than a Mexican village….
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 2:21 pm
by bobinho
And very apt for this neck of the woods… teeth like a zulus necklace…
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 2:27 pm
by bodge
Anyone suffering from a severe case of acne would have "a face like a clumsy beekeeper".
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 2:48 pm
by Burnley1989
As dry as a nuns chuff
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 2:49 pm
by Burnley1989
“She looked like she’d been bobbing for apples in chip fat”
Re: Funny saying's
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 6:03 pm
by bobinho
When discussing zeki Adonis ability to A find the net, B find another Burnley player or C find himself in full control of the ball, “he couldn’t find his own arse with both hands”
