How are you approaching the recent events with your kids?

[cricketfieldclarets]

Has anyone had to talk to their kids about the recent atrocities and if so how have you approached it?

I don't watch the news generally. But its impossible to avoid whats going on. I don't have kids of my own but yesterday out of the blue my nephew brought it up in conversation. He does a lot of boxing and soon will have to travel around with his gym as part of it. But he asked me what he should do if his confidence is affected. I was really shocked and unprepared for this.

In the end managed to manage it in the best way I could and then told his parents about it too so they too could address it with them. But even though as a kid we had the IRA Bombs in Manchester and Warrington its a situation most of us will be unused to dealing with.

What have people found works? I have a few nephews and nieces and expect it may become more common. Also I am going to London to work for a week tomorrow and also have to explain to them how I will be OK and why.

Have any of you had issues talking to them about going to cities or events?

We (my family) will carry on as normal. But its a tough subject to manage.

[Imploding Turtle]

I wont even talk to mine on their birthdays, i'm sure as **** not talking to them about this.

[tim_noone]

Kids are more resilient than you think.

[Dyched]

Kids are more resilient than you think.

Couldn't agree more! They seem to cope better than most adults do at the most testing of times.

[WadingInDeeper]

One issue with them now is that they have far more access to news than we did pre Internet days. Even without "watching" the news they have access via fb etc 24/7.

It all depends on their age, but it's best to be open and honest I've found.

[Sidney1st]

I've got two teenage boys and this has been mentioned.

We've spoken about this on and off, more so recently and I've said we may not go to London for football events this summer, but I'd make a decision closer to the time when tickets go on sale etc.

They know its a minority, I've explained this too them.

When we went to Old Trafford on Sunday for Carrick's game I made sure they knew where we were parked, where we were going on the outside of the ground and what to do if something went wrong.

I've made sure they know I'll do everything physically possible to keep them safe and anytime we go somewhere different they'll always have an idea of where to run if something happens.
Its depressing thinking that I now have to have these conversations with my kids, but 5-7 yrs ago my oldest lad was aware that as a country we've been trotting around the world fighting for longer than he's been alive and he's 15 soon.

[tim_noone]

One issue with them now is that they have far more access to news than we did pre Internet days. Even without "watching" the news they have access via fb etc 24/7.

It all depends on their age, but it's best to be open and honest I've found.

I recall the Cuban crisis as an 8..9 year old and our female teacher crying...we didn't understand really. There's always been conflict and always will be.these shores withstood the bombings of the Second World War.we drink tea and soldier on!

[john'sroseyspecs]

I don't have kids but two of my cousins have kids and i think the world of them. One of them, a lass 15 years old was at the concert in Manchester. She is also the Saturday girl at work. I didn't know she'd been there when she arrived at work the next Saturday morning. The first words out of my stupid mouth were " this place is a tip. Get it tidied. Looks like a bombs hit it! ". I felt like the deepest of deep manure. But she just laughed. Kids are tough ! She's experienced something awful but she's still the same person.

[WadingInDeeper]

I recall the Cuban crisis as an 8..9 year old and our female teacher crying...we didn't understand really. There's always been conflict and always will be.these shores withstood the bombings of the Second World War.we drink tea and soldier on!

Two differences now are, firstly, they know more about what has happened/is happening than I ever did at their age. Even the very young have someone in class who has read something or heard something, including very graphic reporting on social media.

Secondly, in ww2 there was an obvious enemy that could be used for propaganda or to charicature, it's not so simple now.

Children are becoming more aware of events from an early age. The best thing I've found is to sit down and be honest about what is going on. At least the they aren't relying on school yard rumours.

[cricketfieldclarets]

I remember bring the age my youngest nephee is now anf the first gulf war was on. I used to see it on the news and hear about it at school. And i used to dream of it and have visions of the tanks and helicopterd coming down the street. Didnt help that where we lived military jets flying over were a regular thing. I suppose having a wider understanding of it then may have helped. Knowing it was thousands of miles away etc. Bit at the same time the wider understanding now is a hindrance as its on our patch.

[Quickenthetempo]

What can you tell them? What could anyone of done differently to avoid injury or worse in one of these attacks?

[cricketfieldclarets]

I think its more reassurance we need to give them than anything.

[If it be your will]

.

[tim_noone]

"Don't worry about all this bombing business. You are far more likely to be hurt in a car accident or a fall down the stairs than by a bomb. And you don't worry about that, do you?"

Worry is the bigger killer.

[Paul Waine]

Has anyone had to talk to their kids about the recent atrocities and if so how have you approached it?

We (my family) will carry on as normal. But its a tough subject to manage.

As others have said, some of these events have been around for a long time. We face them, we get used to them and then they become an event that happened in the past.

When I was a young adult and the IRA was active I moved from Manchester to London. My mother worried about me working in London (she was a young adult during WWII). I then relocated to New York - she was happy about that news and then the World Trade Center was bombed (1993 - yes, there were terrorist attacks a long time before "the West" got involved in the middle east). I was living a block away from WTC. The night I arrived there was a "loud bang" - I was relieved to learn it was thunder and not a second bomb. (My children were back home in London at the time).

9/11 I picked my son up from junior school and all the parents were talking about the 2001 planes crashing into WTC and more. Scary times.

7/7 - I was working in central London - our office was in "lock down" for part of the day. Friends/work colleagues were on one of the tubes and injured, fortunately minor, in the blast(s). My teenage daughter wanted to meet a friend in London.... she deferred until 21/7 - when there was another series of attacks, but all the bombs failed.

Yes, you talk with your children - if they are old enough to learn something about what is going on. 7/8 years old - they will hear about it at school, if you don't tell them. Better they hear it from Mum and Dad. London and Manchester has had 3 events in less than 3 months, so don't tell them it doesn't happen often/that it is very rare. Tell them that it's very sad that some people have been hurt. Tell them that most of the people nearby weren't hurt. Tell them that the police are great at protecting everyone. Tell them that there are a few "bad" people in the world. But, don't give them any profiles of "bad" people - their school friends will be from many diverse backgrounds. Their friendships will be enough to reassure that most people are "good" people - and that no one is defined as "bad" by their race or their religion or where they live or what they do for a living or anything else. Answer their questions. Show them that you are saddened by the incidents, but also show them that you are not changing any (sensible) plans and that you are not frightened to make a visit to Manchester or London, or whatever else you would do. Be discrete, if you do feel there are occasions when it is better to "stay away" from areas particularly at risk, (I never visited Belfast on business when the IRA was threatening British business people).

Take care.

[cricketfieldclarets]

Great post Paul. And agree wholeheartedly on the profile bit. My nephews (and nieces) still don't / can't differentiate between skin colour. To the point they actually don't realise there is any difference or why. To the point where the younger of my nephews wanted his hair cut the same as one of his friends from school who is of Pakistani heritage. When his mum asked 'which boy is he?' he replied 'the one with darker hair than me'.

Things like that remind you how innocent they are and its good to see.

[KRBFC]

Death is death, it happens to us all. Better to enjoy life and not worry about the inevitable death.