Men are Mingers!

BigChaCha · Post by **BigChaCha** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:56 am

I was in a McDonalds in Spain last week and went into the loo. Once inside while using the urinal I could hear a bloke in the cubical baking a log and grunting loud enough to break a decibel meter!

While washing my hands he walked straight past me without washing his hands and the guy who was British walked outside, stroked his beard, ruffled his son's hair, grabbed a fry from his son and held his wife's hand all with his fecal covered fingers!

I'd say that from my experience of public toilets (not in a George Michael way!) that about 85% of guy's peeing don't wash their hands and about 50% of poopers don't bother!

And this is before I go on about all the inappropriate sex allegations we are seeing atm.
What is wrong with the male race?

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:59 am

Nothing wrong with us men.

fatboy47 · Post by **fatboy47** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:59 am

Why do you wash your hands ??

P*ss on your fingers ?

Or wipe your backside with your fingers?

eurrrrggghh.

CnBtruntru · Post by **CnBtruntru** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:14 pm

And it has taken you until the age you are now to suss this out

Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:19 pm

I'd be more concerned that after having to touch the germ infested taps and soap dispensers I then have to spray germs everywhere with the hand dryer whilst trying to get my hands dry. Once this is complete, usually I have to then go on and touch a door handle to exit the toilets, which is also infested with all sorts of faecal matter and urine from those who don't even attempt to wash their hands properly.

I've thought about this far too much haven't I...?

tybfc · Post by **tybfc** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:21 pm

But 86% can spell their.

martintheaker · Post by **martintheaker** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:30 pm

Just carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer whenever you go out.

BigChaCha · Post by **BigChaCha** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:31 pm

I'd be more concerned that after having to touch the germ infested taps and soap dispensers I then have to spray germs everywhere with the hand dryer whilst trying to get my hands dry. Once this is complete, usually I have to then go on and touch a door handle to exit the toilets, which is also infested with all sorts of faecal matter and urine from those who don't even attempt to wash their hands properly.

I've thought about this far too much haven't I...?

I make sure I do not touch door handles ect. I have it down to a fine art now lol.

FactualFrank · Post by **FactualFrank** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:32 pm

Do you know what the dirtiest thing is, in restaurants? The menus.

BigChaCha · Post by **BigChaCha** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:36 pm

But 86% can spell their.

but 14% can edit a post to make the other 86% look like nob jockeys!

tybfc · Post by **tybfc** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:38 pm

BigChaCha wrote:I make sure I do not touch door handles ect. I have it down to a fine art now lol.

Whilst I am waiting for a delivery man and am bored can I turn this into a bad spelling / grammar thread? ect isn't spelt ect

Darthlaw · Post by **Darthlaw** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:41 pm

BigChaCha · Post by **BigChaCha** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:42 pm

Whilst I am waiting for a delivery man and am bored can I turn this into a bad spelling / grammar thread? ect isn't spelt ect

Do you mean ''I'm bored'' ... not am bored?

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:42 pm

Whilst we can be dirty bastards, there is a world of difference between not washing your hands after a dump, and committing sexual assault.

BigChaCha · Post by **BigChaCha** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:44 pm

Just carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer whenever you go out.

So just mix the shite with alcohol! That'll fix it!

Sutton-Claret · Post by **Sutton-Claret** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:45 pm

Rick_Muller wrote:I'd be more concerned that after having to touch the germ infested taps and soap dispensers I then have to spray germs everywhere with the hand dryer whilst trying to get my hands dry. Once this is complete, usually I have to then go on and touch a door handle to exit the toilets, which is also infested with all sorts of faecal matter and urine from those who don't even attempt to wash their hands properly.

I've thought about this far too much haven't I...?

I always open the door with my teeth, keeps the germs off my hands.....

BigChaCha · Post by **BigChaCha** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:46 pm

Do you know what the dirtiest thing is, in restaurants? The menus.

.... because men do not wash their hands.

tybfc · Post by **tybfc** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:47 pm

BigChaCha wrote:Do you mean ''I'm bored'' ... not am bored?

tybfc · Post by **tybfc** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:47 pm

BigChaCha wrote:Do you mean ''I'm bored'' ... not am bored?

No because I wouldn't place inverted commas where you have.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:51 pm

BigChaCha wrote:I was in a McDonalds in Spain last week and went into the loo. Once inside while using the urinal I could hear a bloke in the cubical baking a log and grunting loud enough to break a decibel meter!

While washing my hands he walked straight past me without washing his hands and the guy who was British walked outside, stroked his beard, ruffled his son's hair, grabbed a fry from his son and held his wife's hand all with his fecal covered fingers!

I'd say that from my experience of public toilets (not in a George Michael way!) that about 85% of guy's peeing don't wash their hands and about 50% of poopers don't bother!

And this is before I go on about all the inappropriate sex allegations we are seeing atm.
What is wrong with the male race?

Don't know about you mate but I use toilet paper, not my fingers. It's about time the world stopped bashing men. The politically correct, hygiene obsessed, feminising men of this world should wake up to the fact that if we don't start arguing back we will be relegated to second class citizens. If men have treated women badly in the past that is wrong but it wasn't me, I wasn't to blame and I'm not going to be punished for it. Pointless man bashing posts like this don't help. As for the allegations of sex abuse if an assault has taken place it must be punished but are we heading towards a society where 'trying it on' is going to become a crime? Are we soon going to have to get a woman to sign a contract before sex can occur? I'm sick of endless processions of women being given airtime on TV to express their dislike of male behaviour and being supported by men who think it is 'inappropriate' to do almost anything male whilst it is considered wrong for men to do the same.
I believe strongly in equality of sex, race and religion and always have but the pendulum has swung so much in the other direction now I'm beginning to re-think my stance. What the hell has happened to masculinity? Even kids in school now are having the whole idea of healthy competition sucked out of them before they even start life as an adult. I despair, I really do.

Rant over!

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:02 pm

houseboy wrote:Don't know about you mate but I use toilet paper, not my fingers. It's about time the world stopped bashing men. The politically correct, hygiene obsessed, feminising men of this world should wake up to the fact that if we don't start arguing back we will be relegated to second class citizens. If men have treated women badly in the past that is wrong but it wasn't me, I wasn't to blame and I'm not going to be punished for it. Pointless man bashing posts like this don't help. As for the allegations of sex abuse if an assault has taken place it must be punished but are we heading towards a society where 'trying it on' is going to become a crime? Are we soon going to have to get a woman to sign a contract before sex can occur? I'm sick of endless processions of women being given airtime on TV to express their dislike of male behaviour and being supported by men who think it is 'inappropriate' to do almost anything male whilst it is considered wrong for men to do the same.
I believe strongly in equality of sex, race and religion and always have but the pendulum has swung so much in the other direction now I'm beginning to re-think my stance. What the hell has happened to masculinity? Even kids in school now are having the whole idea of healthy competition sucked out of them before they even start life as an adult. I despair, I really do.

Rant over!

Oh do stop playing the victim. Second class citizens, don't make me laugh. We're (assuming you are like me white and male) still by far the best demographic to be in.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:11 pm

Falcon wrote:Oh do stop playing the victim. Second class citizens, don't make me laugh. We're (assuming you are like me white and male) still by far the best demographic to be in.

Wrong, I'm not playing the victim, I just don't want to be one. As far as demographics are concerned I agree with Jeremy Clarkson, 'To be born male and Italian is to win the lottery of life'.
By the way your politically correct slip is showing. Don't get too upset. It's just a view and all are entitled to one.

RingoMcCartney · Post by **RingoMcCartney** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:21 pm

Falcon wrote:Oh do stop playing the victim. Second class citizens, don't make me laugh. We're (assuming you are like me white and male) still by far the best demographic to be in.

Especially if your keen for representation in, homelessness, not going to university, being employed in what the insurance companies rate as dangerous or life threatening professions and suicide. Yeah, by far the best demographic.

ClaretinMyBlood · Post by **ClaretinMyBlood** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:27 pm

I love this topic.
More so when arguing with a woman.
They complain if I don't wash my hands after a whizz... But I never see them sanitize it before putting it in their mouth.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:33 pm

ClaretinMyBlood wrote:I love this topic.
More so when arguing with a woman.
They complain if I don't wash my hands after a whizz... But I never see them sanitize it before putting it in their mouth.

Great post mate. There is nothing more funny in this world than humour that is true.

ClaretEngineer · Post by **ClaretEngineer** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:41 pm

ClaretinMyBlood wrote:I love this topic.
More so when arguing with a woman.
They complain if I don't wash my hands after a whizz... But I never see them sanitize it before putting it in their mouth.

Original Source Mint shower gel is bad enough never mind having you're todger scrubbed with hand sanitizer!

TractorFace · Post by **TractorFace** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:47 pm

houseboy wrote:Rant over!

You were actually being serious? To be honest: Your post is the best example of 'belming into the void' I've seen in ages.

UpTheBeehole · Post by **UpTheBeehole** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:49 pm

houseboy wrote:Don't know about you mate but I use toilet paper, not my fingers. It's about time the world stopped bashing men. The politically correct, hygiene obsessed, feminising men of this world should wake up to the fact that if we don't start arguing back we will be relegated to second class citizens. If men have treated women badly in the past that is wrong but it wasn't me, I wasn't to blame and I'm not going to be punished for it. Pointless man bashing posts like this don't help. As for the allegations of sex abuse if an assault has taken place it must be punished but are we heading towards a society where 'trying it on' is going to become a crime? Are we soon going to have to get a woman to sign a contract before sex can occur? I'm sick of endless processions of women being given airtime on TV to express their dislike of male behaviour and being supported by men who think it is 'inappropriate' to do almost anything male whilst it is considered wrong for men to do the same.
I believe strongly in equality of sex, race and religion and always have but the pendulum has swung so much in the other direction now I'm beginning to re-think my stance. What the hell has happened to masculinity? Even kids in school now are having the whole idea of healthy competition sucked out of them before they even start life as an adult. I despair, I really do.

Rant over!

Shut it, sh1tfingers

starting_11 · Post by **starting_11** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:02 pm

BigChaCha wrote:I was in a McDonalds

Peasant.

No Ney Never · Post by **No Ney Never** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:04 pm

BigChaCha wrote:I was in a McDonalds in Spain last week and went into the loo. Once inside while using the urinal I could hear a bloke in the cubical baking a log and grunting loud enough to break a decibel meter!

While washing my hands he walked straight past me without washing his hands and the guy who was British walked outside, stroked his beard, ruffled his son's hair, grabbed a fry from his son and held his wife's hand all with his fecal covered fingers!

I'd say that from my experience of public toilets (not in a George Michael way!) that about 85% of guy's peeing don't wash their hands and about 50% of poopers don't bother!

And this is before I go on about all the inappropriate sex allegations we are seeing atm.
What is wrong with the male race?

What's wrong is that you went to the loo without washing your hands first. What had you been touching in all the time before you began handling your genitalia? Mingers are those who don't wash before handling it more than those who don't wash after.

Working_Class_Zero · Post by **Working_Class_Zero** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:07 pm

: The Worm That Turned.jpg (9.94 KiB) Viewed 4458 times

Sidney1st · Post by **Sidney1st** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:18 pm

ClaretEngineer wrote:

Original Source Mint shower gel is bad enough never mind having you're todger scrubbed with hand sanitizer!

I got an interesting message from the bird a few weeks back.

She'd used my original mint shower gel...
Didn't like the way it made her lady bits tingle down there

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:32 pm

Sidney1st wrote:I got an interesting message from the bird a few weeks back.

She'd used my original mint shower gel...
Didn't like the way it made her lady bits tingle down there

I recommend fiery jack to sort any tingling sensations she didn't like.

Hipper · Post by **Hipper** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:37 pm

houseboy wrote:Are we soon going to have to get a woman to sign a contract before sex can occur?

Effectively that's what I do when I give her the money.

ClaretEngineer · Post by **ClaretEngineer** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:45 pm

Hipper wrote:Effectively that's what I do when I give her the money.

Admiral Hipper always goes down with the ship.

Make sure you sanitize first

ClaretEngineer · Post by **ClaretEngineer** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:48 pm

Sidney1st wrote:I got an interesting message from the bird a few weeks back.

She'd used my original mint shower gel...
Didn't like the way it made her lady bits tingle down there

I once gave the old chap a going over with the Mach 3 and some mint shaving foam. Now THAT was an experience to behold!

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:01 pm

houseboy wrote:Wrong, I'm not playing the victim, I just don't want to be one. As far as demographics are concerned I agree with Jeremy Clarkson, 'To be born male and Italian is to win the lottery of life'.
By the way your politically correct slip is showing. Don't get too upset. It's just a view and all are entitled to one.

Is that the level of debate nowadays? Saying someone is 'upset' and that their politically correct slip is showing (whatever that means). Great stuff.

bfccrazy · Post by **bfccrazy** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:09 pm

Sidney1st wrote:I got an interesting message from the bird a few weeks back.

She'd used my original mint shower gel...
Didn't like the way it made her lady bits tingle down there

Found in Home Bargains earlier - Original Source XXX Mint "extreme tingle".

Is it sad that i'm excited to use it later ?

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:18 pm

ClaretEngineer wrote:I once gave the old chap a going over with the Mach 3 and some mint shaving foam. Now THAT was an experience to behold!

Isn't incest outlawed in the uk??

ClaretEngineer · Post by **ClaretEngineer** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:09 pm

tim_noone wrote:Isn't incest outlawed in the uk??

Perhaps I should have said yon Mining Engineer

For clarity I’m not from Blackburn / Bacup / Rossendale

Lowbankclaret · Post by **Lowbankclaret** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:20 pm

Loads of men don't wash after going to the loo.

It's just disgusting, end off.

The current complaints look to be having an effect.

Today I was in Derby, our central offices. My old boss spotted me and came over.
Now normally she gives me a hug as we see each other very rarely.

Today I noticed she kinda started to go to give me a hug and then hesitated. Que a slight uncomfortable moment before I started a chat on work issues.

The work place, pub, night clubs will be a no contact zone soon.

Apparently there is already a consent app, where you both agree to sex before starting and it's recorded to protect both parties.
How sad is that.

4:20 · Post by **4:20** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:47 pm

One of surprise pleasures, shaking hands and realising you've got a drop of wee on your forefinger.

ClaretEngineer · Post by **ClaretEngineer** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:55 pm

4:20 wrote:One of surprise pleasures, shaking hands and realising you've got a drop of wee on your forefinger.

Nah not a patch on listening to the commotion from a colleague when they go to the toilet after I’ve just laid cable.

No sweeter sound

4:20 · Post by **4:20** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 8:29 pm

ClaretEngineer wrote:Nah not a patch on listening to the commotion from a colleague when they go to the toilet after I’ve just laid cable.

No sweeter sound

That's true pride in ones work right there.

I once made a man throw up on the spot after he sniffed one of my Sunday morning couch warmers back in the day. If Youtube had been about it would have gone viral.

69 WALLOP · Post by **69 WALLOP** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 8:34 pm

BigChaCha wrote:
I make sure I do not touch door handles ect. I have it down to a fine art now lol.

How do you pull a door open then?

Rick_Muller · Post by **Rick_Muller** » Tue Nov 07, 2017 8:36 pm

69 WALLOP wrote:How do you pull a door open then?

Cleverdick

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 9:19 am

TractorFace wrote:You were actually being serious? To be honest: Your post is the best example of 'belming into the void' I've seen in ages.

Yes I was being serious and your post is a brilliant example of what I was talking about. You might as well join the chorus of 'you can't say that, it is unacceptable'. Political correctness is the cancer of our age, it is killing comedy, art, freedom of speech, freedom of expression, you name it. Yes I was being serious, I did say it and I don't give a toss if it is 'unacceptable' (a word that frankly I am sick of hearing these days).

Belming into the void? Are you a regular Guardian reader mate? The last time I heard that phrase was.....well I can't remember. Not sure you fully understand the meaning of it though if you think that's what I was doing.

houseboy · Post by **houseboy** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 9:36 am

Falcon wrote:Is that the level of debate nowadays? Saying someone is 'upset' and that their politically correct slip is showing (whatever that means). Great stuff.

Humour mate, not meant as an argument or insult. Read what you have replied to and think again. Whatever I write on here is simply my opinion, not a statement of unalterable fact, you are entitled to your view (as I think I stated) but your reply originally to me was somehow suggesting that I wasn't, or that I shouldn't be expressing it. You will never see me reply to anyone and say they are talking rubbish, or call them an idiot or any other personal insult, if I disagree I will say so but I never go to the level of personal insult (apart from in fun). I will have a laugh or a serious debate with anyone but please understand that nothing I say is ever personal and is never meant to be.
The phrase 'your politically correct slip is showing' is one I use to illustrate what I mean about men being slightly feminised by political correctness, slip being twofold, a women's undergarment and being drawn into the idea that anything male is now being seen by many as bad. Again it is meant as humour, but I suppose to many these days it is 'unacceptable'.

Foshiznik · Post by **Foshiznik** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 10:13 am

Falcon wrote:Is that the level of debate nowadays? Saying someone is 'upset' and that their politically correct slip is showing (whatever that means). Great stuff.

To be fair, your response of “stop playing the victim” was hardly original.

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:21 pm

Foshiznik wrote:To be fair, your response of “stop playing the victim” was hardly original.

You're probably right.