Daft actions you have either said or done with serious consequences.

[Dressinggown]

I suppose that this will encompass all manner of 'faux pas'.

Personally, I could fill a fill a medium sized library with all my moments when I think 'what on earth was I doing' but we.still have to acknowledge that things can escalate into something far beyond our own comprehension.

Let's start,.......,......

[Loyalclaret]

I do

[houseboy]

18 months ago I got caught up in an issue at work that ultimately cost me my years bonus. My crime? I laughed at a racist joke a colleague made about himself (he was a person of colour and had suffered abuse a lot of his life, but he had a sense of humour). The statement wasn't even that shocking or in any way insulting. I was only on the periphery, he got punished more. The problem was someone anonymously complained that it offended them. The only people in earshot were young white females. What the fck is the world coming to?

[Rileybobs]

18 months ago I got caught up in an issue at work that ultimately cost me my years bonus. My crime? I laughed at a racist joke a colleague made about himself (he was a person of colour and had suffered abuse a lot of his life, but he had a sense of humour). The statement wasn't even that shocking or in any way insulting. I was only on the periphery, he got punished more. The problem was someone anonymously complained that it offended them. The only people in earshot were young white females. What the fck is the world coming to?

Can’t even bloody tell a racist joke in the office these days.

[houseboy]

Can’t even bloody tell a racist joke in the office these days.

Just to be clear it wasn’t really a joke, just a humorous comment. In addition the guy, who was a lovely guy who ultimately left over it, was simply making a comment about himself, not a generalisation. Just to give you more info he had a history of depression with suicidal tendencies and HR dragged the whole thing out for weeks and it made him even more depressed. Still that’s okay because we can’t have the finer feelings of young white females hurt can we. I understand you were only making a joke but then so was he…about himself.

[Tricky Trevor]

I was once getting a load of grief from a mate at training. Eventually when I’d had enough I said “What’s up with you, have I been shagging your Mrs”?
He disappeared for a week or two. I later found out he’d been in the mental health unit at Rossy general because his wife had been cheating on him. Something I was oblivious too but he knew. Banter is banter but I’m not cruel enough to say that if I’d known the situation.

[fatboy47]

18 months ago I got caught up in an issue at work that ultimately cost me my years bonus. My crime? I laughed at a racist joke a colleague made about himself (he was a person of colour and had suffered abuse a lot of his life, but he had a sense of humour). The statement wasn't even that shocking or in any way insulting. I was only on the periphery, he got punished more. The problem was someone anonymously complained that it offended them. The only people in earshot were young white females. What the fck is the world coming to?

Is that you Greg?

[bobinho]

Why are people commenting on houseboys post without actually reading it first?

1. Read it
2. Understand it
3. Move along

[Inchy]

IMG_0955.jpeg (163.6 KiB) Viewed 1890 times

[ClaretAL]

Posting stuff on here after a match while 10 deep, to then wake up the morning after and red the post and say to yourself which idiot has posted that..... then the penny drops....

[TheFamilyCat]

Posting stuff on here after a match while 10 deep, to then wake up the morning after and red the post and say to yourself which idiot has posted that..... then the penny drops....

Not sure whether this quite fits the bill, but when The Emirates was built my wife's grandad (zero Burnley connection) said how much he'd like to go. "If Burnley get promoted, I'll take you" I promised, thinking it unlikely I would need to follow through on it. One play-off final later...

[Rileybobs]

Why are people commenting on houseboys post without actually reading it first?

1. Read it
2. Understand it
3. Move along

I read it and understood it fine, cheers.

[Claret Toni]

Ah yes....sitting in the canteen at work.

Someone was just about to be introduced to me and my mate, when I indicated a woman across the room and said that's that bird (vernacular at the time) who's shagging her boss and they're going away on "business" together. Only to be interrupted by the guy who was about to be introduced who said, "That's my wife".

Further proof that I only open my mouth to change feet.

[hoosier-daddy]

When the waitress brings over your dinner and says, "Enjoy your meal" and you reply with "Thanks, you too"

[Bosscat]

I remember as a 16 yr old back in the mid 70's my Brother and his wife were moving into a flat above the car showroom where he worked, our dad being a lorry driver was moving the furniture for him.
We were in the back of the truck along with one of the Mechanics, who was giving us a hand.
A young woman walked across the forecourt thrusting her ample chest out.

Our dad said "christ look at the ***'s on that" the Mechanic turned to my dad said ... " yes thats my daughter Christine" .... "Oh bloody hell I am so sorry, I shouldn't have said that" said our dad.

The mechanic laughed and said "don't worry about it, she loves showing em off, and getting attention from the fellers, we have told her off that many times we have given up hope"

Dads face was a picture ...

[houseboy]

Is that you Greg?

I’ve been called many things in my life Fatboy, but never Greg.

[houseboy]

I have a silly habit of saying thank you to cash machines. Innocent enough until someone is stood behind me without me knowing.

[hoosier-daddy]

I have a silly habit of saying thank you to cash machines. Innocent enough until someone is stood behind me without me knowing.

I've said "Cheers pal" a few times.

[houseboy]

Posting stuff on here after a match while 10 deep, to then wake up the morning after and red the post and say to yourself which idiot has posted that..... then the penny drops....

Or posting things at 2 in the morning drunk…then reading it the following day and wishing the edit button was working.

[Dressinggown]

Shortly after starting High School a few of us were dropped off by the school bus close to our home addresses. It was a normal day until we came across a 'surprise gift' next to a footpath.

This consisted of a cardboard box with a number of plastic and glass bottles filled with an unknown alcoholic liquid. Once we had removed the slugs from the outside of the bottles, the contents appeared to have a good layer of sediment at the bottom.

3 of us took a bottle each and finished them, no problem. That was the case until about half an hour later when things started to go a bit pear shaped.

One of my friends went from sober to absolutely wrecked within a matter of seconds, trying to fight with an elderly dog walker, singing the school song and attempting to remove his clothing. Not long later he went semi-conscious and was sick on himself.

Our 'friends' quickly departed the scene, leaving the 'drinkers' to fend for themselves. Two of us were still alive and we launched a rescue attempt for our stricken colleague.

We were a few yards from his back door but it took a considerable amount of dragging to get him inside the house. Once we were in we relied on our inbuilt knowledge of how to sober up someone who has alcoholic poisoning. Coffee !

At first the victim was unable to ingest the brew from a cup so we used a watering can to force it down. Again, he became unwell.

20 minutes later we had carried him up a flight of stairs and dumped him in his bed, hoping that his parents wouldn't notice when they got home from work. My mate said he needed to use the facilities as he thought that he a bit of a 'dodgy tummy ' and went into the bathroom. A short time later I went to check up on him only to find the bathroom door open and he was sprawled across the WC, having been sick on the toilet roll holder and crapping on the fluffy mat that goes around the bottom of the bog.

Having little options I took the decision to leg it.

I arrived home moments later to find my tea on the dining table. My parents had already finished theirs. It had to be Liver and Onions on the menu.

Just as I started to retch there was a loud knock at the door which was answered by my mum. It was the Police following up on the admission to Burnley General of two kids who required their stomachs pumped.

As my mother and the officer entered the living room I was face down in my tea. My next recollection was going to school in the following morning, staggering around and getting detention for wiping my nose on a girl's blouse.

In the afternoon I was playing in goal for the school football team. For some inexplicable reason I made the decision to do a diving header from an opposition corner which led to me getting booted in the face by my centre half.

Ironically, in the Hospital car park, I passed in opposite directions to my two mates who had just been released following intensive and invasive treatment on their innards.

As I was being x-rayed for a broken cheekbone there appeared to be a situation unfolding outside which involved members of the respective families. The result ?

The Police and the Courts deemed that the altercation was a serious Breach of the Peace and determined that my Dad had to serve a custodial sentence for his attempted Karate Drop Kick on my mate's mum.

The rest either got suspended sentences or received Community which generally meant that you had to pick up dog dirt
from public spaces for a month, without gloves .

[TheFamilyCat]

I remember as a 16 yr old back in the mid 70's my Brother and his wife were moving into a flat above the car showroom where he worked, our dad being a lorry driver was moving the furniture for him.
We were in the back of the truck along with one of the Mechanics, who was giving us a hand.
A young woman walked across the forecourt thrusting her ample chest out.

Our dad said "christ look at the ***'s on that" the Mechanic turned to my dad said ... " yes thats my daughter Christine" .... "Oh bloody hell I am so sorry, I shouldn't have said that" said our dad.

The mechanic laughed and said "don't worry about it, she loves showing em off, and getting attention from the fellers, we have told her off that many times we have given up hope"

Dads face was a picture ...

Sounds like the time my dad saw my wife's mum driving up out street in her Range Rover before he'd met her. "Who's this posh potty?" He asked.

[TheFamilyCat]

*posh totty, obviously. Bloody autocorrect.

[colne-claret]

I once moaned about a cleaner at work to one of the other cleaners. Basically said I avoid her cos she doesn’t shut up. He laughed along and then said yeah she’s a talker isn’t she, she’s actually my sister. I was mortified

[hoosier-daddy]

I once moaned about a cleaner at work to one of the other cleaners. Basically said I avoid her cos she doesn’t shut up. He laughed along and then said yeah she’s a talker isn’t she, she’s actually my sister. I was mortified

I had to re-read that. I thought you meant it was your sister!

[AfloatinClaret]

Whilst the consequences weren't as serious as they might/ought to have been, the daft action that friends most often remind me of was the evening when I thought it a good idea (drink had been taken) to ride a kids space-hopper down a flight of stairs; the glass front door at the bottom slowed progress but it didn't, perhaps fortunately, stop me completely.
Over the subsequent years there have been innumerable requests for me to try it again, but I've always managed to resist the temptation.