Kids football teams

[Roosterbooster]

Question for those of you with kids that play in local teams

Do any of the teams tell players at the end of the season that they aren't good enough and replace them with better players?

[TheFamilyCat]

I am 100% certain that it happens at some clubs.

[Burnley1989]

Question for those of you with kids that play in local teams

Do any of the teams tell players at the end of the season that they aren't good enough and replace them with better players?

Yeah, a lot do, if theyve players wanting to join. Harsh (i dont agree with it) but it certainly happens.
My daughters not one of the stronger players but i still feel she does well and enjoys it. If i felt she was on the bench more often than most, id look to move her to a side that was more her ability, more to protect her.

[wilks_bfc]

Should it happen? No
Does it happen? Unfortunately yes

As a coach of the same team since u8 to going into u16, I’ve never “dropped” a player and not registered them for the following season. Obviously we’ve had players leave and I’ve had to ask a few to leave, but that doesn’t as down to attitude and other issues, not ability

The only thing I have done that comes close to that is last summer when I had 3 spaces to fill and 4 wanting to join and had to let a lad know that after a few friendly games I didn’t think he was ready to play competitively for us at that point.
We were going into u15, he’d never played in a team before and knowing the teams we’d be up against knew it walls knock his confidence.

Fair play to him, he’s stuck with us, been to training every week during the season and now we have a space again, we’re signing him for next season

[Roosterbooster]

At what age do you think it would be appropriate to start telling kids they aren't good enough for next season?

[Silkyskills1]

The 'winning mentality' I've experienced in past years is just so much more intense now. Not just antagonism from the opposition but also between so- called teammates. It has to be enjoyable for those playing but I feel that as children's teams seem to start at younger and younger ages so the cynicism and 'attitude' just has longer to establish itself.
A good, honest school age football match played hard and fair is as good to watch as anything professionally but such games appear to be more and more remote.

[Goodclaret]

At what age do you think it would be appropriate to start telling kids they aren't good enough for next season?

I genuinely don't think there is a definitive age. I ran a team from U4's to 16's and never told a player to leave based on ability. I think from 13/14's and upwards certain players realise it may be a step to far themselves as it becomes more competitive but, again, as a coach I treated all my players the same. I had a rule of every player on match day would get at least a half of football and even kept stats to try and give players as equal game time as possible. Ok, some games it may have cost us but we still won leagues and cups whilst letting the, so called, weaker players be a part of that success.

The key to me was always assess the games as they came up - if you're playing a team near the bottom then get your weaker players in for as long as you can so they are matched against similar ability so all players benefit. There was never any need to beat a team by a big margin; it helped no one!

I hated seeing opposition players spend 90% of their time as a sub only to play the last few minutes; I was gutted for them.

Good luck, it's a tough gig!

[wilks_bfc]

At what age do you think it would be appropriate to start telling kids they aren't good enough for next season?

You get those that are all out to win regardless and you can spot (or more likely, hear) them a mile off, who will cut and poach better players from other teams just to get the quick wins and I’ve seen that at all ages

Personally I don’t, but it all depends on what the coach wants out of it. Unlike most coaches, I’ve no kids myself in the team I have so no other reason to do than purely for the kids to play football. We aren’t the highest level by any means, but as long as they enjoy it then I’ll do it

[Burnley1989]

I genuinely don't think there is a definitive age. I ran a team from U4's to 16's and never told a player to leave based on ability. I think from 13/14's and upwards certain players realise it may be a step to far themselves as it becomes more competitive but, again, as a coach I treated all my players the same. I had a rule of every player on match day would get at least a half of football and even kept stats to try and give players as equal game time as possible. Ok, some games it may have cost us but we still won leagues and cups whilst letting the, so called, weaker players be a part of that success.

The key to me was always assess the games as they came up - if you're playing a team near the bottom then get your weaker players in for as long as you can so they are matched against similar ability so all players benefit. There was never any need to beat a team by a big margin; it helped no one!

I hated seeing opposition players spend 90% of their time as a sub only to play the last few minutes; I was gutted for them.

Good luck, it's a tough gig!

Spot on, its life unfortunately.

We actually had good players leave because we kept on weaker players (good riddance) selfish parents are usually the driving force in unrest. We are a better side now

[wilks_bfc]

Spot on, its life unfortunately.

We actually had good players leave because we kept on weaker players (good riddance) selfish parents are usually the driving force in unrest. We are a better side now

I don’t mind players leaving as long as they are honest with us.
We had some leave leave before end of season which had impact on rest of the team.
I’ve lost a really good goalie, but he is going to a team 2 divisions higher than we are and fully deserves it. He let me know before the end of the season but said he wouldn’t leave until the season was done

Even when he did leave, he’s still been coming to training to help out with the new keeper we have got in with some 1 on 1 training

[Roosterbooster]

Thanks for replying everyone

I think the general gist seems to be that you shouldn't do it, but lots of teams do

So my question now is, how would you tell 7 and 8 year olds/parents that you are replacing them with better players for next season?

[TheFamilyCat]

Thanks for replying everyone

I think the general gist seems to be that you shouldn't do it, but lots of teams do

So my question now is, how would you tell 7 and 8 year olds/parents that you are replacing them with better players for next season?

I wouldn't but if you're going to, at least have the balls to tell them straight.

[Burnley1989]

Thanks for replying everyone

I think the general gist seems to be that you shouldn't do it, but lots of teams do

So my question now is, how would you tell 7 and 8 year olds/parents that you are replacing them with better players for next season?

Try and help them find another club if you have any contacts at a lower ability side you play against.
Personally, i think 7/8 is too young to be making a call on a childs ability, they might have only been playing a year or two, but it would be better for their development to be playing every week. Its bloody hard, i dont envy anyone doing that job

[wilks_bfc]

Thanks for replying everyone

I think the general gist seems to be that you shouldn't do it, but lots of teams do

So my question now is, how would you tell 7 and 8 year olds/parents that you are replacing them with better players for next season?

It will be a difficult discussion but just be honest And try to help them with alternative

How many players do you have & what level do you play?
Is there another team at your club that could take them?
Or enough players and somebody to coach to create another team?

[GetIntoEm]

My 2 girls have both played since U6's, they played mixed boy/girls. my youngest left a local side at U9s when a coach said that there wouldn't be much opportunity for girls in his team. Obviously told him where to stick it

They both play girls only teams now and very happy.

I know it's difficult but when it turns competitive at u12s I think it's a fair time for teams to start picking their best sides, obviously be up front with the players who are not going to be first pick and see if they want to stick around and train, or be subs, or even prove themselves to break into the team. But just be open and honest.

I think at highschool age kids can get fed up with not playing the best players also.

If it's a competitive league, kids should be taught to go and win, not play weaker teams in favour of "game time"

It's a fine line.

[Robbie_painter]

At what age do you think it would be appropriate to start telling kids they aren't good enough for next season?

Never.

[Roosterbooster]

So here's the thing. I'm not the coach, I'm one of the parents

My 8y/o has been playing for the local U8 team. Its part of a club going from U6 to seniors. There are 2 U8 teams. Last season they had 8 players for a 5-a-side league. One or 2 brilliant players. A few average. A couple needing some time. One struggling but giving his all and loving it. In general the coaching behaviour was good, and every player got game time, but it wasn't necessarily always even. But overall it seemed to be a team set up for the kids. The team did OK, and finished 2nd in their final group at the end of the season (after initial seedings were separated appropriately)

Last week the coach organised a friendly match, which excluded 3 players from last season, and included 5 new players (so 10 in total for 7-a-side). This wasn't communicated on the normal WhatsApp group, and some parents found out by accident. The coach has been asked by these parents why they weren't told, and if it means their child won't have a place for next season.

So far the only reply they've had is that he was meaning to explain his plans for next season at training, but didn't get round to it. Despite being asked repeatedly about what this means for the kids, their questions have been ignored.

Quite frankly it sounds like 3 players are being replaced by stealth. And the coach has just ignored the parents.

I'm now quite concerned about how next season might look, and asked the original question to gauge whether or not my concerns were valid

[dushanbe]

At what age do you think it would be appropriate to start telling kids they aren't good enough for next season?

Never.

I agree, never do it, don’t be that person telling a kid they aren’t good enough.

[GetIntoEm]

So here's the thing. I'm not the coach, I'm one of the parents

My 8y/o has been playing for the local U8 team. Its part of a club going from U6 to seniors. There are 2 U8 teams. Last season they had 8 players for a 5-a-side league. One or 2 brilliant players. A few average. A couple needing some time. One struggling but giving his all and loving it. In general the coaching behaviour was good, and every player got game time, but it wasn't necessarily always even. But overall it seemed to be a team set up for the kids. The team did OK, and finished 2nd in their final group at the end of the season (after initial seedings were separated appropriately)

Last week the coach organised a friendly match, which excluded 3 players from last season, and included 5 new players (so 10 in total for 7-a-side). This wasn't communicated on the normal WhatsApp group, and some parents found out by accident. The coach has been asked by these parents why they weren't told, and if it means their child won't have a place for next season.

So far the only reply they've had is that he was meaning to explain his plans for next season at training, but didn't get round to it. Despite being asked repeatedly about what this means for the kids, their questions have been ignored.

Quite frankly it sounds like 3 players are being replaced by stealth. And the coach has just ignored the parents.

I'm now quite concerned about how next season might look, and asked the original question to gauge whether or not my concerns were valid

Doesn't sound like a very good coach.

Firstly there are no league tables at that age, results and standings are not to be shared or displayed anywhere.

The way he's handling this situation is poor.

Communication is key. It looks like he's planning on bringing these new players in doesn't it.

If I was one of the 3 left out I'd be saying see ya later

[TheFamilyCat]

Doesn't sound like a very good coach.

Firstly there are no league tables at that age, results and standings are not to be shared or displayed anywhere.

The way he's handling this situation is poor.

Communication is key. It looks like he's planning on bringing these new players in doesn't it.

If I was one of the 3 left out I'd be saying see ya later

Agreed, doesn't sound good. What I would say is that it is a good age to move team because most teams will be recruiting to move to 7v7 so finding another team shouldn't be an issue, if that's the route you go down.

[wilks_bfc]

Agree with the above posts

At that age it’s classed as non competitive. Obviously there will be levels of ability but in the main it should just be fun

It sounds like this coach just wants a “quick fix”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting better players, but it should be along with the player currently have to help them develop not at their expense.

[CyrilEbokiPoh]

On a loosely related note what teams would you recommend (and any to avoid). A friend was looking for his little lad starting out and I’m out of touch and I’ve genuinely no idea about the quality of the clubs these days. And what I mean by quality of club - I’m alluding to some of the stuff on here. Good people / coaches with the kids best intentions.

I know belverdere, barrowford, brunlea, pendle forest were all good clubs back in the day.

[NewClaret]

I’ve coached for a while and my view is that U8’s is way too early to make calls on players. I remember the day our centre back first came to training and he literally couldn’t kick a ball. I remember thinking to myself “what the hell am I going to do with this lad”?

Now he’s our best player, the best centre back I’ve seen in the top divisions of our age group and I drive all over Lancashire to pick him up from whatever mates house he’s stopped at the night before because we’re a different team without him.

In this case it sounds like the coach wanted to look at some potential players. That can happen because parents contact him vs him looking for new players. I imagine he’s considering them or waiting on hearing if they want to/will sign up for next season before communicating to parents. If there are other teams at the same age group it’s also possible he’s discussing the other teams plans, or the club might be considering running another team if lots of new players want to join. Don’t assume the worst.

It seems poor communication, but from a coach’s perspective, it’s hard. The stories I could tell you about the texts I’ve had from parents. They get their kids whinging at them in the car on the way home then feel compelled to act and tell you everything that’s wrong! You want to be fair to everyone but also know if you lose a good player or two it’s suddenly an exodus, so you have to keep strengthening.

If the worst does come to pass, just find another team in a league you think is the right level for your son. Drop down leagues if necessary. It’s all about keeping it fun at that age.

[wilks_bfc]

On a loosely related note what teams would you recommend (and any to avoid). A friend was looking for his little lad starting out and I’m out of touch and I’ve genuinely no idea about the quality of the clubs these days. And what I mean by quality of club - I’m alluding to some of the stuff on here. Good people / coaches with the kids best intentions.

I know belverdere, barrowford, brunlea, pendle forest were all good clubs back in the day.

I’d rather not say which clubs to avoid tbh.

At my age group there are teams that I dread facing from a club, yet I know at other age groups their teams are great

There will be good teams & coaches in all clubs but there will also be “bad” ones

[GetIntoEm]

If you're Burnley based I've had good experiences with Belvo & fulledge, Briercliffe, barrowford, Rose grove are supposed to be decent too. In terms of ones to avoid, brierfield, some of the padiham age groups, readstone.

But it really does vary, some of the age groups have really good sets of kids and coaches, others not so great.

[wilks_bfc]

If you're Burnley based I've had good experiences with Belvo & fulledge, Briercliffe, barrowford, Rose grove are supposed to be decent too. In terms of ones to avoid, brierfield, some of the padiham age groups, readstone.

But it really does vary, some of the age groups have really good sets of kids and coaches, others not so great.

Thanks for including my club on the good list

[SurreyClaret]

It's poor coaching in my opinion, or a poor club culture driving this. Kids develop at different speeds and they can't handle that rejection at that age, and they shouldn't have to. Tbh, I think some kids at 14 or 15 would struggle to handle this, especially when they have friendships in the group. I've seen teams running trials at U7/U8 and it leads to some very upset kids and sometimes quitting the game

There are different levels for different levels of teams and you can choose your division all the way through, to ensure your team is at the right level. Unfortunately some Coaches and Parents have a win at all costs attitude, but it's kids enjoying football that keeps them in the game and developing.

I've seen kids who were weak developing into the stronger players and strong players plateau and be surpassed by the rest of their team. The one thing that surprised me the most was how puberty impacted the player development. Two of my U14 players went from being the slowest to the quickest in the space of 12 months.

Personally I would reach out to the club and their welfare officer and see if this is a club directive, or something they are happy is taking place at their club. As someone said, this is a form of cheating, not coaching, and it's often to satisfy the ego of the coach. Ideally clubs should have streamed teams where they can be moved to stronger teams or more development teams if it helps the child, but appreciate that isn't always an option, and could still be upsetting.

I'm a Head of Youth at a club, and in my 7 years of experience, the worst Youth Coaches in my experience put winning over development, shout and scream on the sidelines, make a lot of things about themselves, don't give fair game time (who develops on the bench?), and ignore the players who aren't the strongest at that particular time.

I don't buy the "I forgot to communicate" excuse, I've seen that kind of underhand thing happen before, and he or she will end up losing the respect of the parents and players, if they haven't already. Sometimes clubs have a culture that drives that win at all costs, but sometimes it's just someone who shouldn't be a coach, finding themselves as one. A good question to ask them, is how would they feel if it was them not being told, or their child being replaced?

[CyrilEbokiPoh]

If you're Burnley based I've had good experiences with Belvo & fulledge, Briercliffe, barrowford, Rose grove are supposed to be decent too. In terms of ones to avoid, brierfield, some of the padiham age groups, readstone.

But it really does vary, some of the age groups have really good sets of kids and coaches, others not so great.

Thanks. I’ve heard and known of people involved with brierfield and Belvedere and only heard good things.

[GetIntoEm]

Thanks for including my club on the good list

Only from my personal experience

[GetIntoEm]

It's poor coaching in my opinion, or a poor club culture driving this. Kids develop at different speeds and they can't handle that rejection at that age, and they shouldn't have to. Tbh, I think some kids at 14 or 15 would struggle to handle this, especially when they have friendships in the group. I've seen teams running trials at U7/U8 and it leads to some very upset kids and sometimes quitting the game

There are different levels for different levels of teams and you can choose your division all the way through, to ensure your team is at the right level. Unfortunately some Coaches and Parents have a win at all costs attitude, but it's kids enjoying football that keeps them in the game and developing.

I've seen kids who were weak developing into the stronger players and strong players plateau and be surpassed by the rest of their team. The one thing that surprised me the most was how puberty impacted the player development. Two of my U14 players went from being the slowest to the quickest in the space of 12 months.

Personally I would reach out to the club and their welfare officer and see if this is a club directive, or something they are happy is taking place at their club. As someone said, this is a form of cheating, not coaching, and it's often to satisfy the ego of the coach. Ideally clubs should have streamed teams where they can be moved to stronger teams or more development teams if it helps the child, but appreciate that isn't always an option, and could still be upsetting.

I'm a Head of Youth at a club, and in my 7 years of experience, the worst Youth Coaches in my experience put winning over development, shout and scream on the sidelines, make a lot of things about themselves, don't give fair game time (who develops on the bench?), and ignore the players who aren't the strongest at that particular time.

I don't buy the "I forgot to communicate" excuse, I've seen that kind of underhand thing happen before, and he or she will end up losing the respect of the parents and players, if they haven't already. Sometimes clubs have a culture that drives that win at all costs, but sometimes it's just someone who shouldn't be a coach, finding themselves as one. A good question to ask them, is how would they feel if it was them not being told, or their child being replaced?

I suspect this is a coach ego thing to. Even as a coach he doesn't have access to other teams results, so to be telling parents they finished 2nd is either a lie or he's gone out of his way to find other results and work it out as some sort of affirmation. I don't like it

[Socrates]

My lad decided he wanted to start playing when he was 10. We’d been to the park and kicked a ball around and he looked like what he was - a kid who’d never kicked a ball regularly before.

I sent messages to two teams asking about just coming training for a bit. One coach messaged back saying he only wanted players with ability but we could come and watch. Another coach said to come down, enjoy it and we’d see where he went.

My lad will never be the best player but the amount he has come on in 18 months playing regularly is crazy. And physically he’s an absolute monster for his age so that gets him out of issues which his technique gets him into. And he took great delight in scoring against the team who said they wouldn’t look at him toward the end of last season.

[FeedTheArf]

My son has just got into football in the last 6 months or so.

It’s been a real eye opener to see the whole grass roots system. There are some great people around volunteering their time and some less good.

After trying 2 different clubs it’s been a case of third time lucky and he’s found somewhere that he feels comfortable and he’s really starting to develop his confidence.

You hear stories of pushy parents but it’s not until you see it with your own eyes that you really understand. Ultimately it should just be about a group of mates having fun, win lose or draw.

[NewClaret]

My lad will never be the best player but the amount he has come on in 18 months playing regularly is crazy. And physically he’s an absolute monster for his age so that gets him out of issues which his technique gets him into. And he took great delight in scoring against the team who said they wouldn’t look at him toward the end of last season.

Ha ha, justice!!! Great story to read.

Physicality can’t be coached and whichever way you look at it, still a big part of the game even at grassroots level. As you say, the benefit of regular game time is incredible with young players. Per my post, I had a lad go from worst to best player over two seasons.

[NewClaret]

You hear stories of pushy parents but it’s not until you see it with your own eyes that you really understand. Ultimately it should just be about a group of mates having fun, win lose or draw.

Some of the parents behaviour, but also coaches, is incredible. It’s hard to believe sometimes that they can behave like such idiots at a kids football match. It is just fun but some don’t seem to be able to understand that!

[SurreyClaret]

Unfortunately some kids matches turn into a gladiatorial contest, with parents baying for blood on the sidelines. Sadly it can start at the earlier age groups as well, and clubs and the FA should do far more to educate about the dangers of this to the children's mental health and football development.

In my opinion the FA should do far more work with clubs and especially Coaches to make them act in a responsible manner, and make them understand that they should be setting a positive example to everyone at a match. Unfortunately, with a Coach, their actions, or lack of actions (in dealing with poor behaviour from parents and players) is often the catalyst for escalation.

Thankfully, I've found that kids football in the main calms down a little around U13/14 onwards, probably as problem teams fold, problem players/Coaches get fined, banned or kicked out, parents attend less games, and everyone, including the players, start to realise that pretty much all those kicking a ball around aren't getting scouted and won't make it as a professional footballer.

[Wile E Coyote]

this whole world is often sickening, a billion miles away from natural love of the freedom of booting a ball about with friends. All that joy and energy , just dissipates as the usually talentless adults in charge forge ill merited bonds with crazy parents.
desperation and arguing, the wrong type of competitive stuff comes to the fore.
its football in name only. pretty rancid though, and no fun at all.

[bfcmatt]

So here's the thing. I'm not the coach, I'm one of the parents

My 8y/o has been playing for the local U8 team. Its part of a club going from U6 to seniors. There are 2 U8 teams. Last season they had 8 players for a 5-a-side league. One or 2 brilliant players. A few average. A couple needing some time. One struggling but giving his all and loving it. In general the coaching behaviour was good, and every player got game time, but it wasn't necessarily always even. But overall it seemed to be a team set up for the kids. The team did OK, and finished 2nd in their final group at the end of the season (after initial seedings were separated appropriately)

Last week the coach organised a friendly match, which excluded 3 players from last season, and included 5 new players (so 10 in total for 7-a-side). This wasn't communicated on the normal WhatsApp group, and some parents found out by accident. The coach has been asked by these parents why they weren't told, and if it means their child won't have a place for next season.

So far the only reply they've had is that he was meaning to explain his plans for next season at training, but didn't get round to it. Despite being asked repeatedly about what this means for the kids, their questions have been ignored.

Quite frankly it sounds like 3 players are being replaced by stealth. And the coach has just ignored the parents.

I'm now quite concerned about how next season might look, and asked the original question to gauge whether or not my concerns were valid

The coaches of these teams are answerable to their clubs who usualy have rules about this sort of thing in place, I would seriously consider speaking to a member of the relevant board about it. The team coach coule well be operating outside his remit.

[NottsClaret]

In my experience, it’s the always coach rather than the club. In grassroots, the u12s can have a completely different approach to the u13s at the same club. It would be useful if a club operated the same way at each age, so you had a better idea what would be the right fit for your kid but as it’s pretty much all based on individual parents / volunteers that’s never going to happen.

The egos of some coaches have to be seen to be believed, but at the same time, they’re the also the ones stepping up and volunteering their time. It’s a bizarre world, junior grassroots football. Great fun, ludicrous and quite sad sometimes but once you find the right club for your kid, it’s a good few years of enjoyment for both of you.

[agreenwood]

The egos of some coaches have to be seen to be believed, but at the same time, they’re the also the ones stepping up and volunteering their time.

Apologies NottsClaret, but excusing poor behaviour because people have volunteered, grinds my gears a bit.

I ran my daughter's team for 10 years and now help out with our open age team, as well as doing various jobs on our club committee. I don't really see it as volunteering because I really enjoy it. I get as much out of it as I give up time and effort wise and I'm always embarrassed when I'm thanked or given an end of season gift etc.

Being a dick whilst volunteering should never be excused. If you can't do it without being a dick, don't volunteer. Clubs who have dickhead coaches should get rid of them and never say "well, he/she does give up his/her time".

Appreciate I've taken a sentence of what you said out of context to have a bit of a rant, but I've encountered that attitude a fair bit over the years and it never fails to irritate me.

[NottsClaret]

No, it’s a fair point. In an ideal world all the volunteers would approach it with the same good intentions for the kids rather than believing they’re the next Pep.

As you volunteer yourself, then you’re quite right to call people out and there’s no excuse for not giving kids game time or kicking them out and replacing them. I’m just a bit more hesitant to listen to someone complain that something isn’t being done how they’d like it, if they don’t even help take the nets down or give someone a lift.

Ideally, more people would do as you have, get involved and make it better.

[Boss Hogg]

In my experience, it’s the always coach rather than the club. In grassroots, the u12s can have a completely different approach to the u13s at the same club. It would be useful if a club operated the same way at each age, so you had a better idea what would be the right fit for your kid but as it’s pretty much all based on individual parents / volunteers that’s never going to happen.

The egos of some coaches have to be seen to be believed, but at the same time, they’re the also the ones stepping up and volunteering their time. It’s a bizarre world, junior grassroots football. Great fun, ludicrous and quite sad sometimes but once you find the right club for your kid, it’s a good few years of enjoyment for both of you.

Well put.

[dushanbe]

I've coached a few teams over the last 10 years or so, gone from U7 up to U16 and back to U7, currently coaching my youngest lads team at U13 next season. Whilst there are definitely wallopers everywhere, my experience is the vast majority are doing what we do, enabling a group of kids play football, turn up, have a game, go home, win, lose or draw. Overall most people are sound, the knobheads are an exception.

[Clive 1960]

Question for those of you with kids that play in local teams

Do any of the teams tell players at the end of the season that they aren't good enough and replace them with better players?

another way round was when i would help out come pre season there would be other lads joining in training and when it come to the start of the season some of those from last season would either be on the bench or not picked unfortunately...

[Foshiznik]

I ran a kid's football team from U4s to U16s although admittedly finished about 10 years ago.

We had 2 teams, A and B. The A team had the majority of the better players and what came with that was ultra competitive parents who were clearly trying to live the lives they didn't have or achieve themselves through their children. It was fun coaching them because they were good and we won several trophies. However, I decided to get one of the more vocal parents to take the A team whilst i took the B team when both teams had matches on the same day (for some reason the leagues treated A and B teams as if they were two different teams and scheduled fixtures in different places).

The team lost most games, we gave every single child game time if they were prepared to turn up and the parents attitudes were much more positive in that they just wanted their kids to get a little exercise, socialise with mates and improve. As a coach, it was 10000% more satisfying to run, seeing the happiness in lads when they did something good, got a goal, a good result, made a save, or just had a good training session/match.

[Roosterbooster]

Thanks everyone. Some really helpful replies

We will see how tonight pans out
But if there is any indication that kids from last season are being booted at this age, and the club are fine with that, then I'm out of there

Interestingly the club welfare officer is also the coach on my other lad's team. They are 5&6 and only train, and don't really play games so there's no suggestion that they are working the same way, at least not yet. But I'll check in with them to see what the club's view is

[Roosterbooster]

Also just a big thumbs up to all the coaches who have replied with their experiences. You sound like real good eggs

[jrgbfc]

Is there so many kids wanting to play these days that clubs are having to turn people away?

[TheFamilyCat]

Is there so many kids wanting to play these days that clubs are having to turn people away?

I'm some cases yes. I know of teams that would add more teams to their age groups but don't have available pitches or willing volunteers.

I have always capped my teams at 2-3 more than the team size (i.e 10 for 7v7 where FA rules allow 14) as I don't agree with kids standing on the touchline for half a game, especially on cold, wet winter days.

[SurreyClaret]

A lack of available pitches is the biggest issue in many areas, and is clearly stopping the game from growing as it could. My club has it's own 11v11 and 9v9 pitch and 2 teams at most age groups, so next year, to protect the pitches, we have no choice other than to up the fees to hire elsewhere for games. There are no other local pitches available, so we have no choice other than to play "Home" games 15-20 minutes away in other towns.

All my clubs teams are currently full, and we have 10-15 kids on waiting lists at some of our age groups. We also limit the squad sizes to team plus 3 to 4 subs - some clubs do take on everyone, but it's usually for money making reasons, and often ends up with the kids not playing eventually leaving. We just have mixed teams (mostly boys) but we'd absolutely love to establish girls only, disability and walking football (as would the FA), but we just don't have the capacity. The town we are in has grown by over a third in the last 10-15 years with new housing developments, but the Council added no new sporting pitches at all creating the problem. Grass pitches and even 3G pitches to hire for training are massively lacking, and it's the kids that are missing out.

I completely agree with the previous message that the vast majority of Coaches are good people, trying to do things the right way, and the comments on this thread prove that. It should be fun for everyone, but with the overly competitive parents, win at all cost coaches and rip off clubs pretending to be academies (who often poach players), it does have an uglier side, that is for sure.

[Cheshireclaret]

A very timely topic this, I must confess I actually wondered whether this was my son's coach (former coach) as this exact thing has just happened to me.

To give some background, my lad has been playing in goal for a team for 2 seasons now and for the second season in a row, his team have won promotion. Last season they even won the double. I could tell the writing was on the wall from a few weeks back when things started to change in terms of how he was being treated but, nonetheless, I stuck with it. He missed some training (work often clashed with that, but I was told it was no problem and he had one-to-one training during the weeks he couldn't make his team training).

Last night, they had a friendly against another team to do the league trophy presentation and end of season presentation. He couldn't play because he has a chest infection, but we attended the match nonetheless. The coach decided to play a new kid in goal, whilst my son watched on. I then received a message (not a phone call, a message) this morning from his coach to tell me that this new kid is his new keeper, that my son would be better playing at a lower level, that the photographs that were taken before my son arrived of the team that included the keeper but NOT him were an oversight and that he's really sorry if he caused any upset. But best of luck for the future and all that.

I'm extremely upset to be honest and at a loss to understand how any coach of a kid's football team can expect this to be an acceptable, decent way of treating a 14-year old boy. I'm not the sort of Dad who wraps his kids up in cotton wool and they know life will throw challenges at them (it already has for both of them) but this is brutal in my opinion.

I really do not know what to do. It's very, very raw. I don't know if I find him another team, but then have the same thing happen, or whether to put the feelers out. I'm deeply saddened by this and as a former coach of age grade Rugby, I cannot imagine ever thinking this was justifiable.

Anyway, sorry folks, needed to get that off my chest to people who may be in a similar boat. I'm sure there will be some that will say 'tell him to man up' or 'that's sport' and I get that life is a competitive thing, whether work, leisure, love etc. but to smash a 14-year old's confidence like this is unacceptable, in my opinion.