Dog poo in my garden

Stockbrokerbelt · Post by **Stockbrokerbelt** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:23 pm

I want to know how someone knows that dog poo tastes different from human poo?

boyyanno · Post by **boyyanno** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:24 pm

pushpinpussy wrote:Got home from work and found two dog turds in my front garden. I don't have any pets. Does anyone know of any deterrents to stop dogs using my garden as a toilet, given that most dog owners have no sense of decency.

I got home and found three dog turds in my field. I have -1 pets as my mother's dog died before I was born. Does anyone know how I can stop this pack of dogs from defecating all over my land? Especially considering all dog owners have no decency at all.

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:38 pm

Millertime v1.7 wrote:Aclaret don't talk about Morag. Last seen walking arm in arm with rumps at Dundee’s new v&a museum on Saturday. Tup not been seen since August.

Sorry about that Millertime v1.7. Dundee v& a museum eh, classy girl. Rumps not watching the Dons ?
Hope all ends well pal.

South West Claret. · Post by **South West Claret.** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:42 pm

Millertime v1.7 wrote:Aclaret don't talk about Morag. Last seen walking arm in arm with rumps at Dundee’s new v&a museum on Saturday. Tup not been seen since August.

What’s with all this rumps and Tup shite about...this threads about dog shite and were on page two don’t you know.

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:45 pm

South West Claret. wrote:What’s with all this rumps and Tup shite about...this threads about dog shite and were on page two don’t you know.

yorkyclaret · Post by **yorkyclaret** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:58 pm

Probably a Fox

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:00 pm

pushpinpussy wrote:Got home from work and found two dog turds in my front garden. I don't have any pets. Does anyone know of any deterrents to stop dogs using my garden as a toilet, given that most dog owners have no sense of decency.

What time were you home from work "two turdy"

Nonayforever · Post by **Nonayforever** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:04 pm

Razor wire all around the perimeter of your garden.
Plus wire snares at 1 MTR intervals apart, a small trench ( approx 0.5 mtrs deep ) filled with petrol running along the front of your garden with a small draw bridge ( raised up ) allowing you to cross on your arrival home.
Failing that place your empty beer and wine bottles ( smashed up) over your lawn.

bfccrazy · Post by **bfccrazy** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:09 pm

You don’t live in Colne do you?

On the main toad there today I spotted a little typed out note stuck to a window next to the car wash reading “pick your dog sh!t up d!ckhead - Yes that means YOU”

South West Claret. · Post by **South West Claret.** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:11 pm

PPP You must be well chuffed with your plea for help on this most unsavoury subject receiving such attention so far... and it’s only Wednesday

Garnerssoap · Post by **Garnerssoap** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:54 pm

It’s more a smiths cover to me.

dermotdermot · Post by **dermotdermot** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:01 pm

it more than likely is a cat or three, or maybe even four or five. There is no deterrent but, come October 1st, they will be 'in season'.

Rileybobs · Post by **Rileybobs** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:07 pm

Garnerssoap wrote:It’s more a smiths cover to me.

Dog poo in my garden, I know, I know, it’s serious.

Wile E Coyote · Post by **Wile E Coyote** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:25 pm

Its 2018, utilise modern technology ...DRONE STRIKE !!!!

dermotdermot · Post by **dermotdermot** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:35 pm

Not a bad idea. Where can one be purchased?

Millertime v1.7 · Post by **Millertime v1.7** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:39 pm

Tim noone emptying his guts in someone's garden while they're at work and now we have a two page thread about it :-l

tim_noone · Post by **tim_noone** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:51 pm

Millertime v1.7 wrote:Tim noone emptying his guts in someone's garden while they're at work and now we have a two page thread about it :-l

you spotted it didn't you!

ClaretDiver · Post by **ClaretDiver** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 5:28 am

boyyanno wrote:I got home and found three dog turds in my field. I have -1 pets as my mother's dog died before I was born. Does anyone know how I can stop this pack of dogs from defecating all over my land? Especially considering all dog owners have no decency at all.

ALL dog owners....pretty sweeping comment there mate!

claretblue · Post by **claretblue** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:14 am

electrified moat!

pureclaret · Post by **pureclaret** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:32 am

you can get a product called get off its crystal like gell that makes cats and dogs avoid the area it lasts about 5 to 6 days without rain bit less with but after 2 or 3 goes most dogs and cats will avoid for quite some time

South West Claret. · Post by **South West Claret.** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 5:04 pm

OK back on the case maybe it's neither Dogs nor Cats, have a gander at some of these specimens then compare next time:

http://www.downthelane.net/garden-wildl ... ppings.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 5:48 pm

Mmm. Until PPP can post some photo evidence we are all guessing the culprit.
Looking at SWPs specimens my money is on the hedgehog, the prickly little bas@ard.

Millertime v1.7 · Post by **Millertime v1.7** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 5:51 pm

Mate I'm still guessing what implement Tim noone used to wipe his anus after this whole sordid episode! Pity you don't grow lettuces, pushpinpussy

pushpinpussy · Post by **pushpinpussy** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 6:51 pm

Millertime v1.7 wrote:Mate I'm still guessing what implement Tim noone used to wipe his anus after this whole sordid episode! Pity you don't grow lettuces, pushpinpussy

A lack of education is an extraordinary handicap when one is being offensive to other people.

Rumbletonk · Post by **Rumbletonk** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 6:52 pm

bfcjg wrote:You can get a dog deterent that operates via a PIR
and sends out a high pitch whine only audible to dogs that they hate and won't go near.
Deaf dogs though could walk up p1ss on it then defecate on the lawn regardless. Your risk

I've got them for a couple of cats that love to turd on my grass and kill the birds. No harm done but they don't come back.

Rumbletonk · Post by **Rumbletonk** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:02 pm

Stockbrokerbelt wrote:I want to know how someone knows that dog poo tastes different from human poo?

By tasting it, Dumbo

South West Claret. · Post by **South West Claret.** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:09 pm

Rumbletonk wrote:By tasting it, Dumbo

We do get some dumbos on here don’t we

Wisswosswass · Post by **Wisswosswass** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:31 pm

Had this issue earlier this year. Digging up newly planted seedlings and taking a dump. We stuck those sticks that you use for climbing plants in where the cat was pooing. It stopped doing it.

Nonayforever · Post by **Nonayforever** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:45 pm

Wisswosswass wrote:Had this issue earlier this year. Digging up newly planted seedlings and taking a dump. We stuck those sticks that you use for climbing plants in where the cat was pooing. It stopped doing it.

Were the sticks sharpened to a needle like point and covered with leafs and rotting vegetation ?

Wisswosswass · Post by **Wisswosswass** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:48 pm

Nonayforever wrote:Were the sticks sharpened to a needle like point and covered with leafs and rotting vegetation ?

No. just close enough together to inhibit the cat. They are creatures of habit. If they can't crap there because of the sticks they will go elsewhere.

Millertime v1.7 · Post by **Millertime v1.7** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:37 pm

Tim noone staying EXTRAORDINARILY quiet on this thread today I've noticed

That tells it's own story
He didn't wipe his bum. Pants in the bin.

Aclaret · Post by **Aclaret** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 9:14 pm

So then, A neighbour's dog, a passing Tim Noone who was took short or a hedgehog. I can't believe a claret would crap on another clarets patch and I think a hedgehogs poo would have been noticed BEFORE PPP went to work.
Finger firmly points to Rover who lives next door. The games up Rover. But how to stop him ?

ontario claret · Post by **ontario claret** » Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:02 am

Used to be KRBFC and some tw*t from Blackburn were the prime targets on this site. Now it's tim_noone. Congrats!

Moorite · Post by **Moorite** » Fri Sep 21, 2018 8:33 am

I knew someone who put flash bang targets in their garden and waited. He then shot the target with his airgun when the dog was half way through its business... The problem was instantly solved as it wouldn't even go near his garden again!

Millertime v1.7 · Post by **Millertime v1.7** » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:35 am

So did the dogs arse contract and snip off half a turd or did it retract the whole thing and move on?

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